


Up in Smoke

by StormyBear30



Category: 30 Seconds to Mars
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-01-09
Updated: 2012-01-09
Packaged: 2017-10-29 07:07:13
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 27,446
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/317074
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/StormyBear30/pseuds/StormyBear30
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A kiss of curiosity leads to so much more.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Up in Smoke

"Cant sleep" Tomo asked Tim as he walked into the lounge area of the bus, falling heavily on the couch beside him.

"No…fucking bus. It always happens when I'm touring…it takes weeks for me to learn to sleep on the bus again and then it's over and I have to start all over again with the next tour" Tim groaned, blushing at his rant. "Sorry…I'm just tired. I haven't had a good nights rest in days"

"No worries man…you can always vent to me" Tomo smiled, patting the newest member of their band on the back. "I used to be like that when I first started with them as well…now I can sleep anywhere"

"Wish I could say that" Tim sighed, lying his head in his hands as he leaned on the table in front of them.

"Maybe this will help" Tomo grinned, pulling a joint out of his pocket. Checking to make sure that no one else was up, he lit it quickly, pulling the smoke into his lungs for a moment before blowing it out.

"I don't like that shit and besides I don't think that anything will make me fall asleep" Tim moaned in full frustration.

"Well you won't know until you try it…so go on…stop being a baby and take a hit" Tomo urged, grinning even wider when the bassist took the joint and inhaled the chronic into his lungs.

They sat in silence for a while, Tomo thinking that his cure of Tim's sleeplessness hadn't worked, chuckling to himself when a heavy head fell to his shoulder, sounds of slumber wafting around them in the form of tiny snores. He continued to hold Tim as he finished his joint, fighting the urge to get up and eat everything in sight at risking waking him up. Eventually he fell asleep on his own, arm wrapped tightly around Tim's shoulder, head resting upon his head.

"Awww…well isn't this just the cutest thing you've ever seen?" Jared said to his brother, laughing as the two men cuddled together on the couch broke apart, each looking sleepy and guilty all rolled into one. "Wait…what the fuck is that smell" He directed his question towards the guilty looking guitarist. "I told you not to smoke that shit on my bus" He growled, stepping forward, only to fall back as Tim spoke.

"He was only trying to help me" Tim replied, ducking his eyes in order to avoid the angry look Jared was shooting his way. "I couldn't sleep and well…it's not his fault. He was only trying to help" He repeated. "Sorry man…"

"Tomo's a big boy Tim and he doesn't need you fighting his battles" Jared said, deciding to give his two band members somewhat of a break. "But if you do it again…I'll cut your fucking balls off" He pointed between the two of them, before turning back towards the bunks.

"Thanks…" Tomo smiled thankfully at Tim before getting up and heading towards the back of the bunks himself.

"Having trouble sleeping?" Shannon asked as he took the vacant spot Tomo had left.

"Yeah…" Tim yawned. "He really was trying to help me you know" He went on, turning to face Shannon. "Last night was the first time that I've slept in a long time"

"I understand that Tim…but Jared really doesn't like that shit on the bus and it's really not an answer to your problem. I'd hate to see you get addicted to it and then not be able to function without it. As it is we are trying to get Tomo to stop using it…although in his defense he has cut it back quite a bit since he's started with us" He defended Tomo at the look of defense he saw cross Tim's face. "Come on…lets go change and get ready. We should be hitting the venue in a couple of hours"

Tim didn't respond, only nodded as he followed Shannon into the back area, wishing like hell that he had a nice large bed and a couple of days to catch up on his lack of sleep.

"You want to go out tonight?" Tomo asked Tim two weeks later as they walked into the hotel room they were sharing for the night. "I heard there is this kick ass club not far from here and…"

"Sorry man…but this bed and several hours of sleep are calling my name" Tim cut him off as he fell down on the bed, moaning nearly orgasmicly as the softness hit his back. "This is the most amazing feeling ever" He sighed, grinning at Tomo who was laughing at him from across the room.

"Well I'll leave you to it then" He laughed, throwing his bag on his own bed before giving Tim the peace and quiet that he needed. "Check ya later" He called over his shoulder, turning to find Tim already fast asleep. "Poor guy…" He chuckled, pulling the mans shoes and socks off before assisting him under the covers. "Sleep well" He leaned down and placed a simple kiss upon Tim's forehead, jumping back once he realized what he was doing. He knew that he and Tim were becoming close since that night they had shared the joint, he just didn't know if he was ready to be that close, deciding not as he turned and headed for the door once again.

"Hey…I was just coming to see if you and Tim wanted to come hang out with Jared and I tonight at some club down the street" He heard Shannon speak behind him as he entered the hallway of the hotel, closing the door softly behind him.

"Tim's out for the night…but you can beat your sweet ass that I could use a drink" He ignored the strange look Shannon gave him as he walked away from the man, his mind cluttered and confused, but as far as he was concerned not for long.

"Jesus Tomo…drink enough tonight?" Shannon grunted hours later as he dragged a fully drunken guitarist back towards his room.

"Don't want Tim?" He murmured, lying his head upon Shannon's shoulder, almost falling asleep before he was jerked awake once again.

"Don't want Tim's what?" Shannon laughed, propping him up on the wall as he fumbled with the key card.

"Fuck you Sha…sha" He fumbled to speak the name, pushing Shannon away and falling to the floor with a grunt at his actions.

"Awww…poor baby" Shannon laughed again, laughing even louder as he tried to help Tomo up and got a slapping of hands instead. "Come on Toto…let Sha Sha help you into bed"

"Hate you" Tomo slurred, giving up the fight as he allowed the older man to pull him off of the floor.

"I know…but tomorrow you'll love me all over again" The laughter continued as Shannon tried to drag Tomo as quietly as possible into the darkened room, failing miserably as he tripped over Tomo's foot and they both fell to the floor. "You're going to wake Tim up if you don't stop this shit" Shannon scolded, looking up over the bed and finding the bassist still sound asleep. As quietly as he could he began to undress Tomo, lying him on his stomach in his own bed once the task had been preformed. "Night you crazy fuck" He smiled down on his best friend, already passed out and snoring like mad. With a final check on the two of them he left the room, hoping and praying that the guy he and Jared had brought back from the club was still waiting for him.

Tim couldn't help but smile when he woke up the next morning in a nice comfortable bed and almost one hundred percent revived from lack of sleep weeks prior, that smile disappearing rather quickly at the rustling of sheets and a warm body pressed up against him. Looking over his shoulder he caught a glimpse of a lump under the covers, but was unable to see much more due to the arm holding him around his middle. Lifting the arm ever so slowly, he shifted away from the form, his brow furrowed in confusion at the hairy leg sticking out at one end and the thatch of black hair sticking out at the other. "What the fuck Tomo?" He cried out, wondering why the hell he had curled up in bed with him. "Tomo…" He cried out a bit louder, jerking the comforter from off of Tomo's body, regretting it immediately at the naked form sprawled out in front of him. "Jesus man…" He whispered under his breath, his eyes lingering longer then necessary on the morning wood standing so thick and so proud before him, Tomo completely clueless to the audience he had. "Drunk fucker…" He chuckle to himself as Tomo opened his mouth in order to expel a rather loud snore, the smell of booze almost keeling him over.

When Tomo woke up the next morning, he couldn't quite remember much of the previous night. He could recall bits and pieces of it, leaving Tim to sleep before going out to the club, the confusion he felt at the simple kiss he placed on his forehead, after that he recalled he and Shannon struggling to get into the room. What confused him the most was why the hell is had woken up in Tim's bed, naked as the day he was born, the room empty and dark. He couldn't help but groan in pain as he sat up, his stomach and head rejecting the idea as he laid back down upon Tim's pillow, inhaling deeply the scent that seemed to be lingering there. "Fuck…" He moaned once he realized what he was doing yet again, startling a bit when the door to their room opened.

"Oh good you're up" Tim chirped much to happily for Tomo's taste as he snuggled deeper into the pillow, drawing the comforter over his head "Jared was looking for you at breakfast. I told him that you weren't feeling well"

"Were we supposed to meet for breakfast this morning?" Tomo asked, his mouth dry and foul smelling.

"Yep…and he wasn't happy about it. No worries…Shannon calmed him down. We won't hear from them for another couple of hours. The car is going to pick us up and bring us to the venue about four. Gives us several more hours to sleep since I think that we both need it" Tim couldn't help but chucked at the groan he received in response before the sounds of snoring replaced it. Setting the alarm on his cell phone, he looked at the sleeping lump sprawled out on his bed once more before lying in what was once Tomo's bed, sleep taking him instantly.

"I'm really sorry about last night…well this morning" Tomo apologized for the tenth time since the car dropped them off at the venue. "I don't know what the fuck I was thinking and…"

Tomo…dude…it's ok" Tim laughed, smacking Tomo on the back good naturedly as they sat off to the side of the stage watching Jared doing his warm up vocals. "I won't say that it wasn't a shock to wake up and find a naked man in my bed…but I just chock it up to one more thing I can add to my list of experiences since joining this band" He laughed even louder, receiving an annoyed look from Jared, while Tomo fell backwards with a sigh and a groan. "Really man…no worries" He laid down next to Tomo, propping his head on his hand as he looked down at him. "I wasn't freaked out or anything…well maybe a little but I know it was nothing. You were drunk or high and you…got lost?" He questioned with a giggle, trying to lighten up his friend's mood.

"Lost is a good way to say it" Tomo finally laughed, sitting up at a bellowing Jared banishing them from side stage for disrupting his practicing.

"Man that was such a good show" Tim announced rather loudly as he and the rest of the band trounced into the Leto brother's room. "But I have to say that the best part is the fact that we get to sleep in a lovely bed once again tonight" He ducked the pillows thrown at him, laughing as Jared slumped down in a nearby chair, pouting his pretty little head off.

"Jesus Christ bro…get over it already" The weather's too bad for the bus to travel in. "So we had to cancel tomorrow's show…we'll make it up to them like we always do at a later date" Shannon said to his brother, knowing how pissy and upset he got whenever circumstances were out of his control.

"I just hate cancelling a fucking show. I mean where the fuck did this storm come from anyway?" He cried out in upset, wincing at the clap of thunder that was his only response.

"Come on bro…lets get you into a hot bath and then maybe if you're really nice to me I'll give you a nice massage" Shannon winked at Tomo and Tim, knowing that it was all it would take to make his pissy brother happy.

"You shouldn't bath during an electoral storm" Tim deadpanned, biting his lip in order to stop the laughter threatening to overcome him at the dirty look he received from both brothers'. He'd given up a long time ago trying to figure out just how close the Brother's Leto truly were.

"Come on Tomo…lets get out of here and if your really nice to me…maybe I'll give you a nice massage later" He teased, ducking once again the pillows being throw his way as he laughed his way towards the door, never even noticing the look of upset sprawled across the guitarists face. "I'll tell you if I didn't know any better I would think that those two are fucking" Tim spoke as he opened the door to he and Tomo's room, not waiting for an answer as he entered the bathroom, slamming it loudly behind him.

"Showers yours" Tim announced as he exited the bathroom a few minutes later, a simple towel wrapped around his waist. "What were you watching?" He asked suspiciously at the way that Tomo turned the TV off rather quickly, a look of shame across his face.

"Nothing…shower's mine" He spoke up a bit to loudly as he rushed past Tim, grabbing a few things out of his bag, slamming the bathroom door so loudly that it caused both men to jump from it.

"Nothing my ass" Tim spoke to himself picking up the remote from Tomo's bed and clicking the TV on. What he saw on the screen before him stunned him a bit, his curiosity getting the better of him as he tightened the knot holding his towel on before climbing onto Tomo's bed. His eyes were completely transfixed on the scene before him, that he didn't even hear Tomo come out of the bathroom, "Why were you so embarrassed about watching this in front of me?" He asked when he felt a presence off to the side of the room.

"It's gay porn man" Tomo cried out in distress, his arms flailing all over the place like always when he was nervous and uncomfortable. "I wasn't sure how you would react to it"

"Well I don't care that you're watching it…if that's what you're so worried about" He replied truthfully. "If you like men that's cool with me dude. I mean, who am I to judge anyone" He smiled at Tomo, patting the spot beside him in hopes of easing the tension clearly written across his friends face. Tomo did as he wanted, sitting down on the bed beside Tim, trying not to notice the man was only wrapped in a towel and there was gay porn playing rather loudly on the television in front of them. "Have you ever been with a man before?" Tim asked, almost regretting the question, but for some deep and dark reason wanting to know the answer quite badly.

Tomo hesitated for a moment before he answered, not sure if Tim would be so cool with his answer as he said he would be. "A couple…" He lied, watching Tim's face rather closely for anything other then understanding. "Ok…more then a couple" He smiled when Tim just gave him a look of patience. "What about you…ever been with a man before?" He turned the tables on the bassist, fighting a great urge to reach out and move a stray piece of hair that had fallen across his forehead.

"Never…" Tim replied off handedly, searching Tomo's face, but for what he didn't know. "But that doesn't mean that I haven't thought about what it would be like"

"Oh…well um…joint?" He cried out, jumping off of the bed and in search of his stash.

"Yeah joint…" Tim responded, feeling awfully uncomfortable with the direction their conversation was going, but more curious then confused to explore it more. "Um…yeah…let me get dressed first" He grinned, a twinge of pink littering his cheeks as he grabbed a pair of shorts and a t-shirt from out of his bag, practically running into the bathroom. "What are you doing man?" He asked himself as he stood in front of the mirror, his heart beating so hard and so fast within his chest. When he got no response he took a deep breath before walking back into the room, sitting back on the bed next to Tomo. "Thanks…" He smiled at him, taking the joint and inhaling it deeply, holding the smoke within his lungs for as long as he could before expelling it. Closing his eyes he allowed the effects to wash over him, before taking another hit.

"Did you mean what you said about always wondering what it would be like to be with a man" Tomo asked, feeling much braver then he had before hand, as he looked at a quiet Tim sitting next to him.

"I wouldn't say that I've always wondered" Tim replied, trying to take the chickens way out of the conversation and yet at the same time wanting to find out just the same how far Tomo would be willing to take it, as well as himself.

"Oh…" Tomo replied in no way trying to hide his disappointment.

"It's just that…" Tim lingered for a moment, trying to figure out just what it was he was trying to say to Tomo, because he honestly didn't know.

"You're nervous" Tomo supplied for him. "Unsure that you'll be able to handle it afterwards and what it will mean to us if you couldn't" He went on, already understanding where Tim was coming from since he had been there years ago with another member of their band.

"I think that I am more afraid of that I will like it and what it will mean to us if I did" He spoke truthfully, looking at Tomo in order to see his thoughts on what he had said.

"How about we just try one simple kiss and see what happens from there. If you don't like it then it's nothing but experimentation and if you do…we just go from there" Tomo was so hopeful that it was killing him not to jump Tim right then as he pinned him to the mattress as he kissed the shit out of him.

Tim didn't say anything for a long moment in time, his mind muddled and confused and yet he knew it wasn't from the joint he and Tomo had shared. **Fuck it** He thought to himself as he leaned forward and placed a very chaste kiss upon Tomo's lips. Pulling back, he pondered for a moment what he was feeling, deciding that he was feeling nothing actually before leaning forward once again, pressing his lips a bit longer to Tomo's before pulling back.

"Well?" Tomo asked, still trying to control himself, but fighting a losing battle and rather quickly.

"I don't know" Tim replied. "I mean…I don't feel anything either way"

"That's because you're doing it all wrong" Tomo leered with a tease as he placed the palm of his hand upon Tim's chest, pushing him backwards until he was lying on his back. "The only way you're going to know if you like kissing men is to really fucking kiss one" Once said, Tomo captured Tim's pursed lips under his own, making sure to put extra suction in his pucker before pulling back. "Better…" He smiled, not giving Tim time to speak or think before doing it all over again. "Don't think about it…just feel it" He moaned, continuing with his task, determined to get some tongue action if he had to dive in there after it himself.

Tim did as he was told, closing his eyes, breathing deeply through his nose, forgetting about how strange his night was, how strange everything was at that very moment in time. He found out very quickly that he sorta liked the way Tomo kissed him, not to hard, not to soft, but with an underling power that he knew once released was going to be his complete downfall. They kissed like that for many minutes before Tim decided he was ready for more, wrapping one arm around Tomo's neck, the other on his chest in order to gain some semblance of control if things got out of control too quickly. He found himself rather shocked when an insistent tongue invaded his mouth, realizing that he was the reason for the intrusion as he opened his mouth even wider and beckoned him forward. Without his knowledge he found that hand that was supposed to push Tomo away in case of emergency or panic, was actually pulling him forward in order to maintain more bodily contact.

Tomo wasn't sure how long had passed, but he knew it had been awhile as he finally pulled away from Tim's mouth, noticing how red and swollen his lips looked, his own not fairing any better and yet he couldn't stop himself as with a smile of understanding and arousal within blue eyes, he leaned forward and kissed Tim good and hard once more.

"Mmmm…" Tim purred like a cat when Tomo pulled back once again, sliding off to the side of his body, his legs entangled around Tomo's. "Nice…" He ginned widely as he stared into dark chocolate eyes, eyes that were grinning down at him as if to say **I told you so you big dummy**.

"So not so bad huh?" Tomo chuckled, lying his head next to Tim's as they continued to gaze into each other's eyes.

"You kiss pretty good…for a guy" Tim laughed at the raised eye brow he received from the man lying beside him because he knew Tomo was trying to figure out this time if he was serious or not. "What's next?" He asked a bit hesitantly, wondering how far he really was willing to go, since he learned that kissing a man really could be a very pleasant experience.

"Sleep…" Tomo smiled, shifting over as he kissed Tim slowly.

"Sleep?" Tim repeated in shock once the lip lock had been broken.

"Yes sleep…because as much as I would love to do so much more with you…I think it's best that we take this one step at a time" Tim wanted to argue with him, but he could see that Tomo only seemed to have true concern for him at that time, and that caused his heart to beat just a little bit faster.

"Sleep…" He replied with a bashful smile, feeling a bit awkward as to where exactly he should be sleeping, Tomo making that decision for him as he kissed him yet again before pulling the messy covers up over both of their bodies. It was a long time before Tim could fall asleep, his mind warring between what he felt was right and wrong and what exactly one step at a time meant for them.

It was another couple of weeks before the band stayed at another hotel, Tomo and Tim each secretly dying to take up where they had left off the last time. However, the Leto Brother's had another idea as one hour before they were scheduled to arrive at the hotel, they got into a knock down drag out fight, Shannon with a nasty cut upon the top of his hand, Jared with a knot so large on his head that Tomo felt he should go see a doctor and have it looked at. He refused of course, also refusing to share a room with his brother, demanding that Tim stay with him because he knew that with Tomo and Shannon being best friends that the Croatian would room with him.

"You going to tell me what the fuck is going on now?" Tomo asked the moment that the door to their room was closed, Shannon ignoring him as he threw his overnight bag across the room. "Shannon your hand" Tomo cried out in concern at the amount of blood dripping onto the carpet. He didn't say anything else, just grabbed a hold of Shannon before he could move, dragging him grumbling into the bathroom. "You two really did a number on each other that's for sure" He said, washing gently at the wound, wrapping it in a towel as he reached for the nearby phone, calling the desk and asking them if they had any medical supplies on hand and to bring them to the room at once if they did. "Stay…" He ordered Shannon at the knock on the door, thanking the person who handed him the supplies before going back to the bathroom. "Maybe you should think about taking it easy tonight" He said placing an oversized band aide upon the cut since he had nothing else to work with.

"Fuck that…I'm not going to be the reason we cancel a show. If the shows going to be cancelled its going to be because of that fuck and not me" Shannon growled, but Tomo could see that it didn't quite reach his eyes as he slumped back on the toilet he was sitting on, a look of outright misery upon his normally rugged face.

"Shannon…what happened?" Tomo asked softly, worried for his friend as he seemed to find fascination with the ceiling, his hazel eyes glistening with unshed tears.

Shannon wanted to tell his best friend everything that was going on, but he was so afraid of how he would react to it all. Of course the more that he thought about it, the more he realized that of all people in his life, that Tomo would be the one to understand, not be judgmental and be there for him in friendship without fail "He fucked someone else"

"Huh?" Tomo questioned dumbfounded. "You two are always fucking someone at every stop we make"

"Without me. He fucked someone else without me" Shannon shot back, jumping up off of the toilet before stomping into the other room. Tomo didn't say a word as he followed his him, sitting down on the edge of that bed, already knowing that the truth about the brother's was finally going to come out. "We're fucking…" He exclaimed as if it was common knowledge and the more Tomo thought about it, the more he realized that between the band members, it was. "And we made a pact that if we wanted to sleep with any others that we both had to be there. This fucker decided to come clean tonight and tell me that he had fucked some other guy several months before this tour started"

"Well Shannon…if it was before the tour then it shouldn't matter. All that matters is now. He made a mistake and…" Tomo spoke up; shutting up immediately at the look of death he received from his friend.

"You think that this just started? We've been fucking for years" Shannon spat, falling down on the bed opposite Tomo. "It wrong and it's illegal and there are so many other things wrong with the fact that we are…but fuck if I can't stop. I love him so much Tomo and its more then just brotherly love. I thought he felt more like I did…but then he did this and…" Shannon couldn't finish his words as he once again found fascination with the ceiling, his throat tight and painful as he fought to control his manliness. "It just hurts you know"

"I know Shan…" And he did know what it was like to love someone so much and have then devastate your heart with words or actions. "And I'm so sorry" He moved next to Shannon, pulling him into his arms as he held him as tightly as he dared possible. "Come on…let's lie down and just rest before the show" He said a while later, lying back, arm held outwards as he waited for Shannon to fall into them. "It's the reason we stopped?" He asked, breaking the silence surrounding them, knowing that he was being a bitch for asking, but the curiosity was to great not to.

"Yeah…" Shannon replied softly, head lying on his chest as he snuggled deeper into his embrace. "Jared loves you man…he just wasn't comfortable with making it a threesome"

"Yeah…" Tomo repeated, recalling years earlier when he and Shannon used to fuck like bunnies and then one day out of the blue Shannon told him that they had to stop. Tomo had been shocked at first, not in love with his best friend by any means, but enjoying the comfort and closeness shared between the two of them. They had remained closed regardless, but he had often wondered what he had done to make the drummer not want to be with him anymore. He now had his answer and as much as if should have disturbed him, for some strange and odd reason, it all made perfect sense.

"Their fucking" Tim whispered against Tomo's ear as they stood backstage at their latest gig hours later. "I knew they were fucking"

"Jared told you?" Tomo asked, not willing to let Tim totally in on their secret until he knew for sure that he knew.

"He didn't want to at first but then he tried to kiss me and…"

"WHAT?" Tomo cried out, ignoring the looks he was receiving from the stage crew. "He tried to kiss you?" He asked Tim in anger after dragging him down an empty hallway.

"Yeah…but I stopped him. I told him that it wouldn't solve whatever was troubling him and he just lost it" Tomo heard Tim reply, his anger subsiding because the idea of anyone else kissing Tim, man or woman was fully upsetting and yet he didn't know why. "He just fell to his knees and told me that he cheated on Shannon. I kind of put the rest together before he spilled his guts"

"Did he say why?" Tomo asked, hating the fact that he found himself delving into a totally fucked up situation no matter how he looked at it.

"He's fucking terrified of his feelings for him" Tim told Tomo, his heart aching for the leader of their band. "I mean how fucked up is it to fall head over heels in love with your brother?" He asked, not expecting an answer as he leaned against the wall behind him, Tomo doing the same. "He was going to end it and sleeping with that man was his way of doing it…a fucked up way…but his way" Tim continued. "He was hoping that Shannon would catch them in bed together…but he ended up staying at your place that night and he was so loving and happy to see Jared the next day that he couldn't tell him. He's been living with the guilt ever since and for some reason today he decided it would be a good day to tell him" He sighed, looking at Tomo who still had yet to speak.

Tomo knew that day very well because it was the day that his long time girlfriend had broken up with him, alerting him to the fact that while he had been on tour she had found someone else and wanted to start a new life with him. Tomo had been devastated, calling Shannon the moment that she had left his apartment. That night they had gotten drunk together, Shannon being there for his best friend like he always had been whenever needed. In a way he was happy that Shannon had spent the night that night, because he couldn't imagine what would have happened if he had walked in on his brother and the man he was fucking. A shiver ran down his spine just thinking about it, because everyone knew that Shannon had a temper, but when it came to his brother, it was near murderous. Images of Shannon behind bars began to filter through his already fucked up mind, sending another shiver down his spine as to how close to reality that could have happened.

"You ok?" Tim asked, lying his hand gently on Tomo's face at the distressed look he saw there.

"No…" Tomo replied truthfully leaning into his touch before grabbing onto the front of Tim's shirt and jerking him forward. He prayed that Tim wouldn't put up any fight as his lips covered his own, smiling slightly when he felt the lanky man's body meld against him, increasing the intensity of the kiss. "We have to fix this" Tomo spoke, winded, once the kiss was broken, lying forehead to forehead with the man that was wrecking havoc on his senses.

"How?" Tim questioned, staring deeply into Tomo's eyes, his mind and his heart confused over the feelings that were developing for him.

"I don't know…but we have to do something" Tomo responded, leaning in to kiss Tim again, only to jump away from him at someone shouting his name in aggravation.

"What the fuck are you two doing back here?" Jared barked as he came around the corner, his eyes narrowed, nostrils flaring. "I swear to fuck if you two are getting high I am kicking you both off of this tour"

"We're not getting high Jared…although something tells me that we all should be" He spoke around the singer as he walked past him, ignoring him when Jared continually questioned what he meant about that statement.

The show that night went off without a hitch, the crowd loving every second of it, totally clueless to the performers on stage who were dying for it to end. There was no signing that night as Jared took off in a cab to god knew where, Shannon, Tim and Tomo driving in the car waiting to take them back to their hotel. The car ride was deadly silent, Shannon staring out the passenger side window, his mind apparently anywhere but where he was. "You need to talk to him" Tomo broke the silence, lying his hand upon the drummers forearm. "You need to find out the truth before everything falls apart"

"I don't want to talk about this" Shannon grumbled towards Tomo, looking at Tim quickly before locking eyes with his best friend once again.

"He knows…Jared told him everything" Tomo supplied, feeling bad for Shannon at the look of humiliation that crossed the drummers face.

"It's cool man…no worries. I have no reason to judge and I promise to stay out of it…but he does love you despite what he did" He knew he was treading on thin ice with Shannon, but he felt he had to at least try and make things right.

Shannon didn't say anything, just snorted in response as he turned to look out the window once again. Again they sat in silence, none of them speaking still as they made their way up into Tim's room. Many attempts to bring Shannon into a conversation were attempted, none of them working and with each hour that passed the more the drummer got aggravated and upset. "Where the fuck is he?" Shannon cried out worriedly, pacing back and forth like a caged animal. "It's been hours. Where the fuck could he be?" He was speaking more to himself, his hair sticking out in peculiar angles each time he ran his hand through it.

"I'll try his cell again" Tomo spoke up, dialing Jared's number for what felt like the fiftieth time, getting his voicemail as expected.

"We need to go look for him. He could be hurt or worse…" The sentence lingered in the air as Shannon stopped his pacing, a look of full panic crossing his face as he did.

"Shannon I am sure…" A knock at the door silenced Tomo's lie as he watched Shannon race for it, throwing it open and finding their missing singer, fully drunk and barely being held up by an employee of the hotel.

"Jared…Jesus fuck…you're ok" Shannon cried out, grabbing his brother from the young man before dragging him over towards the bed. "Take care of him…" Shannon shouted towards Tomo as Jared began to spout words of love and devotion.

Tomo did as he was asked; jumping off of the chair he was sitting on, taking the kid by the arm and leading him out into the hallway. "Where did you find him?" Tomo asked once the door was closed and the other three were given their privacy.

"He's been at the bar for hours. The manager wouldn't have minded him staying there but he decided to get up on the bar and started singing quit badly about broken hearts and love lost and well…people started to complain" Tomo couldn't help but snicker, handing the guy a twenty dollar bill before sending him off, hoping and praying that singing badly had been all Jared had done. When he walked back into the room, he found Jared and Shannon wrapped around each other, Shannon murmuring soft and soothing words into Jared's ear.

"Come on let's go" Tim whispered to Tomo, taking him by the arm and leading him out of the room. "Jared explained everything…totally drunk and yet he still managed to tell him the whole truth beautifully" Tim exclaimed, seeming to be totally impressed by their leader. "I get drunk and I lose my ability to do much of anything but just lie there" He laughed as the two of them continued to walk to the room they apparently seemed to be sharing now.

"I'll have to keep that useful bit of information locked away somewhere for future use" Tomo grinned evilly at his friend, chuckling at the weary look that Tim gave him in return. All laughter died on Tomo's tongue the moment the door to their room was open and he was shoved against a wall, that same tongue being bombarded by an insistent bassist.

"I'd think that you'd want to keep me nice and sober because trust me I am much more adventurous when I'm sober" Tim panted against Tomo's stunned lips once he broke the forced lip lock, his hands quickly working the shirt off of Tomo's body.

"What are you doing?" Tomo asked in a muffled whisper as the shirt was ripped from his body and tossed over Tim's head. "Tim seriously…what are you doing?" He spoke a bit louder when those same hands began to work on the fly of his pants.

"Being adventurous" Was his simple reply before tugging his own shirt off and tossing it on the floor as well.

"Tim…" Tomo warned, stepping away from the man causing all sorts of havoc on his brain once again. "Think about what you are doing. Think about what I think we are about to do. Think about what this will mean to the band…to us"

"Thinking is all I've been doing for weeks now" Tim ground out, the irritation in his voice very obvious. "You fucking started this and now you don't want to finish it"

"This isn't a game time. We aren't kids you know" Tomo bit back.

"No…we're not kids" He agreed. "We're consenting adults" No more words were spoken as Tomo wrapped his hand around the back on Tim's neck, jerking him back to his previous position. "Fucking control freak" Tim snorted before giving in and giving up all control if it meant that he would get what he wanted.

They somehow managed to end up on the bed, mouths continually joined as they clumsily maneuvered the rest of their clothes off, down to their underwear. Tomo had Tim pinned to his back, refusing to give up control and loving every minute of it because normally when he had male bed partners it was he that was always dominated. Of course he knew that he shouldn't compare Tim to his other lovers because those men were just one night stands, groupies and horny men that wanted nothing more then to fuck and then leave. There was never any emotional ties to them, he never wanted that before, wasn't even sure that he wanted them this go around, but as he pulled back and gazed at the flushed and heavily breathing man, he knew that he might not have any options but to allow it.

"What?" Tim asked, wondering why Tomo had pulled back and was just looking at him.

"Nothing…" Tomo shook his head slightly as if to clear the cluttering thoughts. "It's just…are you sure that you want to do this?" He asked, not wanting to push Tim any further then he was willing to go.

"If I didn't want this I wouldn't be here right now" Tim smiled encouragingly, reaching out, dragging the tips of his fingers down Tomo's quivering belly until he reached the waist of Tomo's underwear. Looking up into his eyes, Tim found encouragement in the brown eyes smiling down at him as he slid them down his legs, once again taking a look upon Tomo's hugeness.

"Never seen one of those up close and personal have you?" Tomo chuckled at the way Tim seemed to be studying his dick, not touching him yet, but draping his eyes over ever inch presented before him.

"Actually…I saw one just a few weeks ago" Tim smiled up sweetly at Tomo, loving the look of confusion and even a bit of jealously looking back at him.

"Huh…when?" Tomo bit out a bit harder then he intended.

"When you decided to grace me with your presence in my bed the last hotel we stayed in" He snorted at the raging blush that crossed Tomo's face.

"Oh…right. Sorry about that" Tomo blushed even more, head thrown back and his embarrassment forgotten as a hand was wrapped around his extremely sensitive penis. "Holy fuck…" He cried out, biting his bottom lip as gentle and even strokes began.

"I know the basics and all…since I've kept myself entertained for many years now" Tim grinned up at Tomo again, his own blush covering his cheeks at what he was thinking about doing next. "Can't say that I've ever done anything oral and…" He didn't know what he was trying to say as he continued to stoke Tomo's length, eyes locked nervously with the man kneeling before him.

"Just take it slow and do what comes natural" Tomo panted, loving the way that Tim's rough hands were working their magic down below.

"None of this seems natural" Tim spoke more to himself, but Tomo could hear the uncertainty in his voice as with a deep breath, he took Tim's hand off of his dick, and gently eased him onto his back.

"It doesn't feel natural because you are thinking about it too much. When it comes to sex you just need to feel it…just go where it takes you" Tomo whispered against Tim's ear, licking the outer rim, as he curled his body around the other mans body. "I know that you are enjoying what we are doing and that you want more…but you're just scared. You don't have to be scared with me" He spoke a bit rougher, shifting the lower half of his body over Tim's until their hardened penises came into contact with each other. "You're so hard for me Tim…I like that" His voice became raspy as he began to move his body back and forth and side to side, making sure to apply extra pressure at the right time in order to increase their pleasure. "Do you like what I'm doing to you Tim?" He asked, his breath heavy and a bit forced as the friction between the two of them continued to grow. "That's it…just like that" He moaned when Tim arched his hips upward, Tomo pressing downward at the same time, their two dicks rubbing together even harder.

"Oh fuck…so close…so close Tomo" Tim cried out, arching up even further in an attempt to increase the intensity between them.

Reaching across the bed, Tomo took Tim's hand, wrapping both of their hands around the leaking members. "Oh god…" Tomo cried out as Tim took his heed and started jerking the two of them off with an all fired fever. Faster the action came, harder and louder the moans followed until they both cried out in full release, the juices of their actions smeared over hands and between stomachs. "Mmmm…now that was nice" Tomo smiled down at Tim, leaning forward to share a small kiss with him. "Be right back" He called out over his shoulder as he ran bare assed into the bathroom, returning with a wet wash rag and a towel. "So much better" His smiled again once he had cleaned up the mess they had made. "You ok?" He asked a bit concerned with Tim had yet to speak a word, only staring up at him as he continued to lie on his back.

"Yeah…." Tim said slowly, still not moving, eyes still locked with Tomo's. "I guess that I am just trying to come to terms with what we just did" He spoke truthfully, watching Tomo's face tighten in defense, a small amount of hurt swirling within his chocolate eyes.

"I didn't force you into anything Tim. You are the one that started it tonight and…" Tomo shot back in full defense, pulling away from Tim altogether as he sat on the other side of the bed.

"I know and I didn't mean it like that" Tim spoke quickly, sliding his way across the bed until he was sitting behind the clearly agitated man. "It's just that…" He paused for a moment before speaking again. "It's just that I've often wondered what it would like to be with a man and it's something that I've been struggling with for years now. I mean you're taught that a man lying with a man is wrong and then here I find myself well…doing more then lying with a man" He chuckled uncomfortably, ducking his eyes for a moment as he picked imaginary lint off of the comforter.

"Well I am not the right person to debate religious issues with" Tomo murmured, hanging his head down because as much as he didn't want to admit it, Tim's words hurt.

"Trust me I don't want to debate religious issues with you either" Tim grinned, leaning forward and kissing Tomo's shoulder tenderly. He didn't know why he had the urge to do so, but shrugged it off when he did it again, lips ghosting over the soft skin for a bit longer. "There are lots of things that I want to do to you…but debate isn't one of them" Shifting forward he wrapped his arms around Tomo's waist from behind, continuing to place soft kisses along his shoulder blade. "Come back to bed…" He whispered against Tomo's ear, nuzzling his neck with his nose.

Tomo fought him for about one minute before he turned to face the grinning man. "You are really driving me crazy Tim" He spoke truthfully before throwing caution and even his heart to the wind by kissing the bassist soundly. Foreplay began after that as Tomo explored every inch of Tim's body with his mouth and hands before allowing Tim to do the same. He was dying to fuck Tim, his body rigid and almost painful as they continued to make out, their bodies rubbing wantonly against each other. "Tim…I…I…" he stammered afraid to push the other man too far, but about to explode if he didn't do something soon.

"Just go slow ok?" Worried blue eyes locked on his own, hands clutching at his arms almost painfully. At that moment Tomo wanted to tell Tim to forget it because there was no denying that he was a bit petrified, but he wasn't given the chance as large, warm hands wrapped around his head, pulling him forward as an explosive kiss was shared between the two of them. "Stop thinking…" He grinned up after the kiss had been broken. "I want to do this" Tomo could see the truth within his eyes as he leaned down and kissed him soundly once again before getting off of the bed in search of the condoms and the lube.

Tim's heart was racing so hard within his chest that he found it almost impossible to breath, but he tried like hell to keep his nervousness off of his face for fear of spooking Tomo. The fact of that matter was that he really did want to know what it would be like to have Tomo fuck him, and that it wasn't the idea of the man penetrating him in a way he'd never thought he'd have the nerve to experience that frightened him, but the feelings that were quickly developing for the dark haired man. He was falling for him, falling hard and quick and despite the fact that he wanted to alert Tomo that this wasn't just a new fuck for him, he knew that he couldn't out of stone cold fear as to how he would react. "Just tell me if it gets to be too much. I don't want to hurt you Tim…but there is an element of pain" He heard Tomo speak, kneeling before him with a look of true concern upon his face, a look that caused Tim's heart to speed up just a bit more.

"I trust you" Tim smiled reassuredly up at his friend, biting his lip when Tomo shifted his legs forward, squirting some lube onto his fingers before looking up at him one more time. With a slight nod and a small smile, he bit his lip even harder as Tomo traced a bit of the lube around his virgin area, trying to contain the giggles threatening to overtake him at the idea of losing his virginity so to speak at twenty six years old. Tomo didn't seem to notice and he was thankful for it as a single finger was eased into his unsuspecting body, his lip beginning to ache from the pressure of his teeth. Tomo didn't seem to notice that either as he maneuvered another finger inside moving them around in a pattern Tim couldn't seem to get, his entire body rigid and tight. The stretching went on from quite some time before he felt the initial nervousness begin to wear off, his curiosity getting the better of him once again. "More…" He gasped, grinning when Tomo shared a brilliant smile with him.

"Someone's eager now" He chuckled, sitting back on his knees as he opened the condom packet, placing it on himself before setting back at the task he was dying for himself.

"Fuck…" Tim grunted, his teeth once again finding the indentions of their previous place upon his lip as Tomo breeched him in a way no other had. His first urge was to push Tomo away and run like there was no tomorrow, but he held firm, gripping onto Tomo's forearm as he leaned forward with a look of pain across his own face. "I'm ok…" He lied, determined not to chicken out. "Just do something" He panted, the burn of the intrusion more then he thought it would be. His grip tightened on Tomo's arms as that same man increased the pace of his actions, Tim's bottom lip throbbing and painful from so much abuse. He was just about to give up and declare the game over when he bolt of pleasure ripped through him, causing him to cry out rather loudly from the pleasure of it all.

"Liked that did you?" Tomo smiled down at him, his face smirking as sweat glistened across his forehead. Tim didn't have time to react as he hit that same spot over and over again until he was sure that he was going to pass out from the intensity. "Fuck Tim…I'm so close…so close" He repeated, his warm breath ghosting over the bassists equally sweaty face as he gave into his own needs and increased his pistoning power. He came rather quickly after that, eyes closed as the power of his release washed over him, coming back to his senses as the cry of almost pain coming from the man under him. Pulling out, he disposed of the condom, shifting onto his belly before covering Tim's stiff pole with his eager mouth.

"Fucking Christ on a cracker" Tim hollered at the top of his lungs as he came with only one simple swipe of a warm and wet tongue

"Fucking Christ on a cracker huh" Tomo literally giggled, feeling to good to care or worry about anything else as he rolled off of Tim's hip, lying on his back as he savored the taste coating his mouth and throat

"Yeah…" Tim laughed, hiding his face under his arm as he tried to hide his embarrassment.

"You're too fucking cute you know that right?" He heard Tomo speak next to his ear as he removed his arm and found the Croatian's face hovering right above his. Tim just rolled his eyes and tried to ignore the remark, his face growing a deeper shade of red the longer that he looked at him. "Not only are you fucking cute as a button…but you have all these cute little freckles littering your face" Tomo smiled even more, speaking the truth despite the fact he knew Tim only thought he was giving him shit.

"Whatever man…" Tim blushed even harder, his heart beating a bit faster at the turn of concern he saw covering Tomo's face.

"Are you ok?' He asked, playtime over because he wanted to make sure that Tim wasn't feeling uneasy about what they had just done. "Not to freaked out are you?"

"Not anymore" He sighed, closing his eyes as a whisper of fingertips brushed across the side of his face, a soft kissed placed on his painful lips. "Be right back" He whispered across those lips once he broke the kiss, leaving Tim alone in bed as he walked towards the bathroom, humming a playful tune as he did. His mind threatened to wander as to what he had just done, but he forced such thoughts away as Tomo entered the room once again, crawling into bed next to him. He found himself snuggled upon soon after, smiling to himself because for some reason it just felt right.

Everything just fell together after that first night. Tomo and Tim spent just about every waking moment together, feigning only friendship, stealing kisses and fucks along the road wherever they could. At first Shannon was suspicious about the closeness being shared between the two, Jared finally convincing him that it was a good thing, that Tomo was finally moving on, because he was convinced that the other man was in love with him. He never once suspected that there was anything more then friendship going on because he had his Shannon all to himself and that was all that mattered.

They toured non-stop for nearly four months before they were to get a break and as that day moved closer, Tomo and Tim grew nervous because they were unsure of what was going to happen between them during that time. Tim had finally admitted to himself weeks after that first night with Tomo that he was head over heels in love with the man. Tomo's feelings mirroring those of Tim's but he found himself still in denial because the pain of his last breakup with his girlfriend was still lingering. They pretended like everything was ok, each sullen and upset the final night they were together, both playing it off as if they were tired and ready to go back home. They said their goodbye on the tarmac of the airport, Tim catching a cab home to his empty apartment, Tomo driving home with the Leto brother's to pick up his car before heading to his own empty and lonely apartment.

Tomo wasn't sure what he was going to do for the near month break that they had, but he did know that after only two days away from Tim he was near miserable. He missed the thin man, missed his smile, his laugh, his easy manner, but what he missed most was his freckles. He had to laugh at how absurd that sounded, but he had developed a fascination for them rather quickly after the first night they had slept together, touching and teasing Tim about them until he was sure that the bassist wanted to kill him. He was dying for some alone time with the man, his ego hindering all efforts because he wasn't sure how Tim perceived what they were doing as.

"Hello…" He answered his home phone, hoping and praying that it was who he had just been thinking of, frowning when it turned out to be his grouchy landlord, alerting him to a problem that made Tomo's frown turn upside down.

"I've gotten several complaints about some scraggly looking man pacing back and forth in front of your apartment door" The man complained, cursing out loud when all he received in reply was a dial tone.

Tomo's heart started to pound within his chest as he peeked through the hole in the door, grinning like an idiot as a leather coated Tim paced back and forth. He felt giddy as a school girl, it quickly turning into foolishness as he opened the door, preparing to give the man shit, only to find himself pushed backwards, the door slamming loudly behind him before lips he had been craving crashed upon his own. "I think that someone missed me" Tomo rushed out between hungry kisses that he was more then willing to allow to continue.

"Fuck…I missed you too" He moaned when Tim nibbled and kissed his way down the expanse of his neck, biting playful at one hell of a sensitive spot. Over an hour later, completely relaxed and happy to have Tim back in his arms, Tomo finally realized a fact that had been plaguing him since they had left the airport, that fact being that he was totally in love with the bassist and he had no fucking clue how to handle or even try and approach the subject.

"Hey…"He heard Tim speak, turning his head to look at the grinning man lying beside him. "I just wanted to tell you that I love you" He announced, shifting forward onto his stomach as he gazed into Tomo's huge eyes. "I mean…I just wanted you to know that this isn't' a game for me …not that it was in the first place" He countered quickly, looking down at his arm in order to break eye contact, feeling like a complete ass for what he had said.

"I…love you too" Tomo hesitated for a second before reaching forward and placing his index finger under Tim's chin, forcing him to look up. "I just thought that I would be the one to say it first" He grinned, pulling Tim closer as he sealed the words and the emotions with a heartfelt kiss. "Now how about some fun" He beamed once the kiss was broken as he reached under the bed and pulled out a box.

"Talk about your stereotypical stoner" Tim chuckled uneasily, taking the box away from Tomo and tossing it back on the floor. "But how about we forgo the weed and you show me once again just how much you love me" He teased, leaning forward to kiss his lover, only getting air as Tomo chased after the box.

"Oh I plan on doing just that baby…but this will make it so much better" Tim knew it was a lost cause as Tomo prepared his joint, lighting it before he could utter a word. He watched as he inhaled the substance, holding it for a moment before blowing it away from him. "Come on baby…give it a try. It's really good stuff" Tim rolled his eyes as he took the joint recalling his younger years and how he always seemed to give into peer pressure, and it seemed that nothing had changed now that he was older.

Eight months later…

"Jesus Christ Tomo…not again" Tim cried out in irritation as he entered his boyfriends apartment and found him stoned to the gills, sitting in the middle of his living room with what looked like half the contents of his refrigerator spread around him.

"What…I was hungry" The guitarist giggled, taking a bite of a wedge of cheese before getting up and walking through the mess on the floor in order to get to Tim. "You have the most perfect timing ever Freckles" He leered, wrapping his arms around his lover's neck, trying desperately to kiss him, only to be brutally pushed away.

"Knock it the fuck off" Tim growled when Tomo tried to pull him into his arms again, walking over towards the other side of the room for much needed space.

"What the fuck is your problem?" Tomo asked in irritation, crossing his arms over his chest as he looked at the floor and silently wondered why half of his refrigerator was scattered on the floor.

"My problem is that we were supposed to be having dinner with my friend tonight and once again you're too fucking high to go. This is the second time that he has come into town to meet you and you're…"

"I'm fine" He cut Tim off before he could go into another one of his drug addiction speeches. "I just took a little hit earlier to take the edge off" He lied, trying to recall just how many joints he had smoked since he had woken up that morning.

Tim ignored the outright lie Tomo told him as he began to clean up the mess all over the living room. "Whatever…" He spoke instead, walking into the kitchen. "Did you even bother to talk to Jay and Shannon today like you said you would?" He asked, already knowing the answer by the look of guilt presented to him as he entered the living room once again. "Fucking hell Tomo…you promised to tell them about us before we started touring again" He yelled at his boyfriend, not even trying to hide the frustration and hurt in his voice. It had been an ongoing battle from the get go, Tim wanting to tell the brother's about them and for some strange and unknown reason, Tomo holding back.

"I forgot…" He lied again, knowing that the reason that he started smoking in the first place was to try and get the courage to tell his two best friends that he and Tim were in a relationship. He didn't' know why he was so nervous in telling them, but there was something holding him back despite it.

"You're unbelievable" Tim shot out, tossing the stuff in his hands on the floor before stalking up to Tomo. "You act as if you are afraid to tell them. Jesus…if anyone wouldn't have a problem with you and I dating I would think that it would be those two. You know what…forget it" He threw his hands up, storming away from Tomo before he punched the shit out of him. "You stay here and smoke your fucking ass up until you have no brain cells left…I'm going out with my friend"

"Tim…" Tomo cried out at the slam of the door, knowing good and well that he had fucked up everything he had with Tim really well and possibly forever.

"You ok man?' Tim heard one of his best friend's question him as they sat at a restaurant some time later. "So what's the deal your man too good to come and meet your best friend or something?" He joked despite the fact that he was still trying to get used to the idea that the guy he had grown up with was now dating another man.

"Yeah…sorry he wasn't feeling well so…"

"I can always tell when you're lying man…so what's the real reason? He ashamed of you or something?" He felt his defenses getting high at the idea that someone might be hurting his best friend.

"No…maybe…I don't know" Tim sighed in frustration. "He's always been a stoner…I've known that from the first moment that I met him and yet recently it seems that it's all he ever wants to do"

"Hey…if he's a druggie then you need to kick his ass to the curb"

"He's not a druggie…" Tim spoke quickly defending that man that he loved, even though he didn't' know why at that very moment in time. "He just likes to smoke a joint every now and then…but lately there's just been a lot of them…you know?" He asked, looking up at his friend.

"If it looks like a fish and swims like a fish…then it must be a fish…you know?" He turned the tables, hating the look of upset upon Tim's face and wanting to smash the face of the person who put it there.

"Yeah…I know" Tim sighed again. "I just don't know what to do about it anymore. He won't tell anyone about us and in the last couple of months he's been smoking that shit all the fucking time. I mean I don't mind a hit every now and then…but after awhile it just gets old and I am over it"

"Maybe it's time to end it and move on" He trudged lightly, knowing how defensive Tim got when it came to his mystery lover.

"Maybe…but I love him. I mean I really fucking love him and as weird as it is for me to say that…it's the fucking truth. It's been eight months and I love him more then I ever thought that I could love another man or even a woman for that matter"

"I love you too" Tomo spoke quietly as he stood beside his boyfriend, smiling nervously at him after hearing Tim's every word. "I'm Tomo by the way" He turned his attention to the man sitting across the table from Tim, extending his hand. "I'm sorry about earlier…I fucked up and…" He turned back to his boyfriend.

"Your here now and that's all that matters" Tim's friend cut him off, hoping to make the two men somewhat comfortable even if he wasn't. "I'm Greg" He shook the hand before him, winking at Tim as he watched the man sit down next to his friend. "I'm going to go hit the head and…well you two talk" He grinned, not even trying to pretend about what he was doing as he got up and left as quick as he could.

"I'm sorry" He repeated his earlier words, turning to face Tim in order to show just how sorry he was. "I don't know what's come over me lately but I promise to stop because I hate it when you're mad at me Freckles" He used the nickname that he only used on Tim during special occasion because he knew how the other man would react to it.

"That's not going to work this time" Tim lied, already forgiving Tomo because what else could he do when the Croatian was grinning at him and looking so damn cute. "Smug bastard" He grinned back, poking Tomo in the side when he reached across the table and plucked a piece of chicken off of his plate. "You're going to make it up to me tonight" He announced a moment later at the lull in the conversation.

"Anything…" He replied truthfully because he hated having Tim upset with him in any way. "What?"

"You'll see…" Tim grinned even wider, digging into his food with earnest as Greg walked back to the table.

"So…Tomo…" He drawled out the name while sitting down. "What the fuck is it about you that turned my friend gay?" He asked seriously, unable to stop laughing as Tim chocked on a piece of his food, Tomo's eyes nearly bugging out of his head.

Several hours later…

"Geesh doesn't your friend ever slow down" Tomo laughed as he watched Greg dancing with yet another random woman at one of their favorite clubs.

"He's a player that's for sure. When we were younger he and I used to be a dangerous combination when we were cruising chicks" He spoke up over the loud music, hand upon Tomo's leg under that table, legs pressed together as they sat in a tight booth.

"Oh yeah…so just what is it about me that caused you to go gay then?" He murmured in his ear, repeating Greg's earlier question, lying his hand upon the one on his knee and giving it a good squeeze.

"You're just too fucking sexy I suppose" Tim replied as he leaned into his lover, nipping playfully at his ear lobe.

"Fuck Tim…" Tomo rushed out, his dick hardening and fast. "Lets ditch your friend and go home and…" He didn't get to finish his sentence as Greg took that exact moment to fall into the booth, an all too familiar female sitting on his lap.

"Tomo…" The woman nodded at him with a smile.

"Jazz…" Tomo said her name with such disdain, considering who she was.

"You two know each other?" Tim asked, a jealous streak a mile long shooting through him as he grabbed onto Tomo's knee a bit tighter, moving so close to the man that he was practically sitting in his lap as well.

"Known Tomo for years…" She drawled out, eyeing the way that the man next to Tomo seemed near ready to claw her eyes out. "Haven't we Tomo?" She purred, ignoring the hand under her skirt and the idiot trying to get her attention behind her.

"Yeah…years" Tomo's face flushed red, his knee aching from the amount of pressure being applied to it by his lover.

"I'm Tim…" Tim blurted out, deciding that he didn't like this woman one bit, or the way that she was eyeing his man. "I'm Tomo's boyfriend"

"You always did like em dark headed and sexy as fuck" She giggled, deciding to lay claim even though she knew what Tomo truly thought of her. "Well…except when you and I were together and then you just like me naked and in bed twenty-four-seven"

"Wait…you and Tomo?" Greg finally spoke up, not liking the anger flashing in his best friend's eyes or the deer in the head lights look on Tomo's face.

"We had an arrangement…didn't we Tomo?" She smiled sweetly, leaning forward in order to flash her new cleavage. "And it was amazing while it lasted" She smiled even wider. "But I guess that I don't need to tell you that now do I?'

"I need a fucking drink" Greg groaned, attempting to push the woman off of his lap.

"I've got something even better" The skank piped up, digging into her purse as she pulled out a small case. "It's so good that it will put smiles on all of your faces" She grinned at the frowning two in front of her before turning her attention back to her one night conquest. "Just one of these and it guarantees a night of nothing but fucking pleasure" She teased, drawing the pill she had taken out of the container across Greg's bottom lip, before slipping it into his mouth.

Tomo wanted to stop what was going on before him, but he seemed unable to move as the bitch from his past turned her sights on he and Tim. "What about you boys…care to give it a try?" Tomo watched as she slipped one of the pills into her mouth, downing it with the remains of Tomo's beer. He watched as a dreamy look fell across Greg's face, fighting an unbelievable urge to reach out and take the pill from her, but knowing for Tim's sake that it was better to fight the temptation. "Let's…" He tried to speak to his boyfriend, his eyes lingering on the pill once again because no mater how hard he fought it, his body was demanding it. "Just this once?" He asked of Tim, ignoring the looks of upset and confusion staring back at him. "After this I promise no more" He supplied, not caring if it was an outright lie or not. "Love you baby" He smiled when Tim nodded slowly, reaching over and snagging the two pills now lying on the table, placing it in his mouth before leaning over and surprising Tim with one hell of a kiss, sliding the melting pill into his mouth where he swallowed it without question. He downed his next, kissing Tim one more time before allowing the effects of the unknown substance to over take him.

"God I feel fucking amazing" Tim laughed as he and Tomo ground their bodies together on the dance floor, totally giving up the pretense that they were only good friends. "I am going to fuck you so hard later tonight that you're not going to be able to sit for a week without feeling it"

Tomo couldn't help but laugh at the goofy smile on Tim's face, groaning at the same time when his ass was grabbed roughly, their bodies moving even closer together. "Fuck later..." He grinned evilly, wrapping his leg around Tim's calf, pulling them even closer together before leaning in and kissing him hard and wild. "Bathroom now…" He demanded, taking his hand, intending to lead him into the semi private bathroom. "Tim…" He cried out over the loudness of the music when Tim's grasp disappeared from his hand. "Tim…" He cried out even louder as the lanky man stood as if in a daze for a moment before falling to the ground. "TIM…" Tomo screamed at the top of his lungs as he lunged for the floor where the one that he loved was jerking and shaking all over the place, eyes rolled into the back of his head. Everything after that became a blur.

The pain in Tomo's head was almost more then he could bare as he sat, scared out of his fucking mind, feeling all alone in a hospital waiting room in what felt like forever. He still wasn't sure what the hell had happened, only knowing that Tim had collapsed into some sort of seizure on the dance floor before the paramedics took him away. Tears watered his eyes as he recalled the grotesque look on his lovers face as he flopped around like a dying fish until he was whisked away into an ambulance. He felt like he was going to vomit as he leaned forward, head hanging between his knees as he prayed like hell for Tim to be ok and for someone to give him any hint of news. "Tomo…" He heard a familiar voice cry out, thanking a higher power for not making him feel so alone anymore as Jared and Shannon rushed into the tiny waiting room. "What the fuck man?" Jared questioned, ignoring the stab of jealously that shot through him as Tomo jumped off of the chair and into Shannon's arms. "What's going on with Tim?" He continued to ask, hating himself for being a jealous jerk during their time of need, but unable to stop himself.

"I don't know…" Tomo wailed, clinging tighter to his best friend. "They won't tell me anything. I've been waiting here for hours and I don't know anything more then I did when they put him in the ambulance" Tears bled down his cheeks as he buried his head in Shannon's strong chest, clueless to the looks of death he was receiving from their leader.

"You were there when it happened?" Shannon asked, brow furrowed as he pulled Tomo back and sat him back in the chair.

"We were at a club…we took some drugs and then we were going to…then he was on the floor. I was so fucking scared. I've never seen anything like that before" His cries intensified as he once again found himself within Shannon's strong arms. "He looked horrible. His body was jerking and I couldn't wake him up" He stammered, fighting for breath as he stared into Shannon's eyes. "He can't die…he can't…I love him too much" He didn't even realize what he had said as he allowed himself to be pulled once again into Shannon's arms again, not noticing the looks of shock and confusion that the two brothers's shared.

"Mr…Milivih" They all heard a woman murder Tomo's name, ignoring her mistake as all three rushed towards the startled lady. "Oh my god…you're Jared Leto" She rushed out giddily, annoying the fuck out of all three standing before her. "You're Shannon and Tomo. I can't believe it…Thirty Seconds to Mars"

"How's Tim?" Tomo ignored the stupid woman, hand gripping Shannon's bicep as he waited for her to respond.

"I'm sorry but I'm not able to give you that information" She informed Tomo, stepping back at the outrageous look of anger she received in response. "He's put his mother as his point of contact and she is the only one that we can release that information too"

"So you fucking came down here to tell me that you can't give us any information about Tim" Tomo roared, startling everyone in the room with his loudness. "Listen you…"

"Tomo…" Shannon warned, stepping forward and blocking the startled Doctor from his friends view. "Calm down…this isn't helping"

"What is your name again?" Jared asked, stepping forward and putting his best acting face on, asking Shannon and Tomo to step back with his eyes and allow him to do what he did best. Tomo wanted to fight them both, but as Shannon grabbed his arm and led him away he reluctantly allowed Jared to play his game because he knew it was the only way that he would get the answers that he needed.

"I didn't give it…but I'm Dr. Julia Dixon" She blushed, not even noticing the other two men had left, her heart racing, mouth dry as the man she had drooled over for years, the lead singer of her favorite band was, dare she say it, flirting with her.

"Such a beautiful name for such a beautiful woman" He flashed his thousand watt smile towards her, stepping even closer to the Doctor who held the answers they needed. "You just have to understand that Tim isn't just our band mate. He's part of our family…our brother if you will and we are just worried about him"

"I know but…his mother…" She stammered, getting lost in memorizing blue eyes.

"I know that his mother is the point of contact…but we really need to know how he's doing. Please…" He added an extra pout; one that he knew made all women cave, ignoring the look of irritation he received from Shannon and Tomo as glanced at them quickly.

"I could get in trouble for this if you told anyone" She replied nervously, looking around to make sure that no one else was listening.

"Don't worry we all know how to be discreet and keep our mouths shut" Jared assured, flashing another brilliant smile.

"He had a horrible reaction to the drugs they found in his system. They don't know what it was that he reacted to since drug ingredients change all the time…but whatever it was caused him to seizure. They were able to stabilize him at the club…but he had a full blown stroke in the ambulance on the way to the hospital. Right now he's stable…but he's in a coma and as of now we don't know what damages his body might have sustained due to this"

Jared's mouth fell open as he tried to process her words, his focus turning quickly to Tomo as a loud cry of outrageous pain emerged from the man. "Tomo…" Jared cried out, running to his friend, falling to the floor as he wrapped his arms around Tomo's shuttering frame, vaguely hearing the Doctor's apology before she left the room.

"I've killed him. I've killed him" Tomo repeated over and over, pushing Jared and Shannon away in order to place space between them. "Oh my god…I've killed him" He didn't know what he was doing or saying as he flailed back and forth, tears blazing down his cheeks as he fought the urge to breath or pass out. "I've killed him…Shannon…I've killed him" He wailed again as strong arms surrounded him once again, two bodies falling to the floor as he completely lost himself. "I've killed him" He whispered over and over again, unable to fathom, but having to deal with reality at the same time that Tim was in the situation he was in because of him.

"Tomo…I don't know what the fuck happened…but you didn't kill Tim. He's still alive and like the Doctor said we won't know anything else until he wakes up" Shannon spoke against Tomo's ear, holding his best friend close as he tried to figure out what the hell had happened hours earlier. The truth was that he had no clue, just bits and pieces and as much as he loved Tomoe dearly, he was completely petrified to find out. "Now take a deep breath and tell me and Jared what the hell happened" He looked over at his brother, motioning for him to sit on the other side of Tomo on the floor because it was clear that their band mate needed extreme support.

Tomo wanted to push them both away and just run away deep into the night and never come back, but he knew that he owed it to Tim and the brother's to remain there and finally speak the truth. "We went out clubbing last night. His friend Greg was in town and…" He stopped speaking, horror filling him as he remembered Tim's friend. "Holy shit…Greg" He pushed himself away from the two, digging his cell phone out of his pocket "FUCK…" He cried out, running out of the waiting room when his cell phone didn't work and he realized he didn't have Greg's phone number. "Jazz you fucking bitch…is Greg there?" He cried out once he was outside the hospital, ignoring the bitching woman on the other end. "I said is Greg fucking there?" He yelled even louder, his anger growing out of control. "And if you've fucking hurt Tim in any way with that shit from last night you will so have to deal with me you fucking bitch" He promised, hating the fact that he had to call the bitch that was the cause of it all and knowing that despite it he was to blame as well.

"Tomo what the fuck?" He heard Greg's drugged out voice come over the line, filling him in quickly on everything that had happened. He didn't allow Greg to say anything else as he gave him the address to the hospital, coming face to face with Jared and Shannon.

"Well now this makes all the fucking sense in the world" Shannon roared as he rushed up to Tomo, slamming his hands into his chest in out right anger. "You're fucking in contact with Jazz again?"

"Tomo…how could you? You promised after the last time she put you in the hospital" Jared reminded loudly, disgust and anger apparent in his words and his voice, unable to comprehend that Tomo was once again dealing with his old drug dealer after the struggle he and Shannon had fought to break him of her evil ways years prior. "I thought you were through with all that…that you had finally gotten away from her and that shit?"

"I did…I am…" He stammered, picking himself up off of the ground from where Shannon's shove had knocked him. "It was a one time thing. Fuck…he didn't want to do it and I begged him. It had been so long and I wanted it so bad. I didn't know that he would react to it this way…neither Greg nor myself had and reactions to it" He couldn't continue as once again he began to cry at his fucking stupidity.

"Let's go back inside and then you can tell us everything" Jared spoke up, taking Tomo by the arm and pushing him inside. "Come on Shan…" He smiled sadly at his brother and lover, not missing the look of disappointment shimmering within his hazel eyes.

"I suggest that you start from the beginning" Shannon demanded the moment that they entered the waiting area, not even trying to hide the anger in his voice as he fell down on a nearby chair, his eyes screaming at Tomo to even try and disobey him.

Looking at Jared for support, all he found was disappointment staring back at him as he gave up the fight, falling into the chair next to Shannon, and opening up his heart and his soul to the two men that meant the world to him. "It wasn't supposed to turn into anything" He began, a small smile gracing his face as he recalled the early portion of the relationship between him and Tim. "But it turned into something wonderful"

"How did I not know that this was going on within my band?" Jared asked after Tomo had explained how the two of them had become a couple.

"Jared focus…this is not about you and last I checked this was our band…not yours" Shannon warned, looking the younger man straight in the eye in order to prove how serious he was about his words. Jared thought about all the mean and snotty things he could say to his brother, but thought better of it because he knew that Shannon was already well past his threshold for patience with Tomo. "That explains how the two of you got together…now explain how the fuck Tim ended up in here and how Jazz fits into this entire fucked up mess" Although he was sure he had a pretty good idea.

Tomo could barely speak after he told the brother's the entire story, his throat raw from the ache of emotions weighing down upon him and the tears that didn't seem to want to stop flowing because of them. "I just don't know what I'll do if anything happens to him" He spoke in a whisper, the tear factor going up another notch at the idea of losing the man that he loved.

"Well…we are going to hope that it doesn't come to that" Shannon assured, lying his hand upon Tomo's back, watching as Jared was beckoned by the Doctor once again entering the room, motioning for him to follow her. "What?" He asked when Jared returned, an unreadable look upon his face.

"Tim's mother has gotten in touch with the hospital and gives us permission to see him and receive updates as they come" He began. "She's trying to get a flight in…but his home town is snowed in and there aren't any flights going in our out for right now. She's going to try and get here as soon as she can. Does she know about you and Tim?" He asked Tomo.

"Not that I know of…Tim never said anything to me about telling her" Tomo replied, confused as he wracked his brain trying to remember if his boyfriend had said anything.

"Well she told me to tell you to keep strong and that before long you and Timmy will be together once again" He said with a shrug.

"Sounds like she knows man" Shannon replied, helping his friend find a seat behind him before he fell down at the crushed look he saw upon his face.

"Of course he told her…because he's not afraid that people know about us. He's wanted me to tell you guys for months and I just couldn't"

"Why the fuck not?" Jared questioned not even trying to hide his irritation yet again.

"Jared…" Shannon warned again. "But why not tell us?" He asked himself. "Of all people who wouldn't have cared or judged you…you'd think it would be us"

"It's stupid and not for the reasons you think" Tomo sighed, wiping at his face quickly.

"Then why?" Jared demanded, ignoring the look Shannon shot him once again as he crossed his arms over his chest and waited, feeling like an ass once he heard Tomo's response.

"The three of us have been friends for a long time. We're brothers and we share everything" He began, looking between his two best friends. "But this thing with Tim…this relationship" He corrected. "I didn't want to share it with anyone. I wanted to keep it all to myself because it was perfect and beautiful. You know I've only been in love one other time and it was nothing compared to what I feel for him. I just wanted to be greedy and keep him all to myself. Can you understand that?" He asked, looking between Jared and Shannon with teary eyes.

"Yeah…yeah we can totally understand that" Shannon smiled sadly at Tomo before locking eyes with his equally tearful lover and brother.

"We get it Tomo…" Jared replied as he sat down next to his band mate, hugging him close, eyes still locked across the seat from him with the man he felt those very same feelings for. "But you're talking like your relationship is in the past. This is just a speed bump in life… and before you know it Tim will be out of here and you can just forget that this shit ever happened" He hoped that he was right, but something told him that he was about as far off as he could get.

Several hours passed after that, the three of them sitting in silence, each lost in their own set of thoughts before anyone came to see them again. "You can go and see him one at a time…but be aware that he's still in a coma" Another Doctor told them as they waited eagerly on every word. "There isn't much more that I can tell you…except don't except much right now. He's body has had a very serious blow to it and it may take some time for it to heal itself"

"Tomo you go first" Shannon told his friend, wrapping his arm tightly around Jared as he stood beside him. "Give Tim our love" He called out, turning his attention back to his lover once Tomo had left the waiting area. "You ok?" He asked softly, resisting the urge to kiss the man that he loved for fear of others seeing.

"Do you think that he's going to be ok?" Jared asked, not caring about Shannon's concerns as he wrapped his arms around Shannon's neck, holding onto him as if for dear life. "I'm really scared for Tim" He continued when Shannon didn't answer. "Fuck…" He whispered against Shannon's ear at a voice he heard behind them.

"Mr. Leto…phone call for you at the reception desk" The lady blushed, hating to interrupt such an intimate moment. "They said it was important that they speak to you"

"Do you want me to take it?" Shannon asked out of concern because he already knew who it was calling.

"No…I'll take it" Jared smiled at his brother. "How about you go get us something from that coffee place downstairs" Remembering all the horrible coffee the two of them had drank years earlier when it was Tomo laid up in the hospital after an overdose of drinking and drugs. "Love you…" He mouthed with a wink, brushing the horrible memories away before walking after the woman.

Shannon watched as Jared left, patting his pockets to make sure he had his wallet before heading off, knowing that by the end of the night they were going to need more then simple coffee to get them through the night.

"You can sit with him for a few minutes…but then visiting hours are over for tonight" The Doctor spoke to Tomo, patting him on the shoulder before walking over towards the nurse's station.

Tomo didn't say a word as he continued to stand outside of the ICU room, Tim lying on a hospital bed before him looking almost angelic in his coma. "I'm so sorry Tim" He whispered at the glass, finding it almost impossible to move. "I'm so sorry…" He whispered again, taking a final look before running down the corridor and out of the hospital.

"Tomo…what the fuck?" He heard someone cry out, that person grabbing onto his arm and spinning him around to face him. "Where's Tim? What's going on?" Tomo could hear the panic in Tim's best friend's voice, but he had to get away before he lost his entire sanity.

"Jared and Shannon are in the waiting room…they can tell you everything. I…I have to go" The problem was that he just didn't know where the fuck he was going.

He showed back up at the hospital several hours later, after just walking around the city trying to clear his thoughts and come to terms with what he had done. He didn't speak a word as he entered the waiting room, ignoring the looks of evil that all three men were shooting at him. "Enjoy your walk?" Jared finally broke the silence, full pout upon his face, arms across his chest, ready to bitch him out in full force. He expected it, he deserved it and when he didn't get it, he completely lost it once again.

Thankfully Shannon took pity on him once again as he flew to his side, wrapping those strong arms around him, just holding him until he was able to speak again. "I don't know what to do Shannon…don't know how to help him. I went up there and saw him and I just couldn't go in there. I'm so fucking scared Shannon. I've never been this scared in my entire life" They were true words, words that he didn't know how to deal with and as much as he didn't want to, he knew that he had to.

"You just have to be there for him" Shannon sniffled against the collar of Tomo's shirt, exhausted beyond belief and yet knowing that the night was anything but over for any of them.

Tomo watched in silence days later as Tim's mother entered the waiting area of the hospital, looking exhausted, her worry for her son so evident within her eyes. She greeted the brother's, hugging each of them quickly before turning her full attention towards Tomo. "Come here son" She spoke out to him, arms wide open, crushing Tomo into a surprisingly strong embrace for such a small woman. "I'm sorry I couldn't get here sooner. How are you holding up?" He could hear the concern in her voice and it caused him to break down yet again because of it. "He's going to be fine…you have to have faith" She whispered against his ear, holding him even tighter. "Tim is strong and he will pull through this because he loves you" Tomo wanted to speak, he even tried, but nothing came out as she kissed him quickly upon the top of his head before turning her attention towards Tim's best friend. He watched as the two huddled together, whispered words shared between them. He couldn't make out a word the two were saying but he was pretty sure that it would be a matter of time before Greg told the woman what had happened and Tomo would be asked to leave.

"Take a walk with me" He heard Shannon speak next to him as he looked up and found his best friend standing before him. He wanted to say no in order to try and hear some of the conversation going one across the room, but as he looked into dark and stormy eyes he knew it wasn't a question, but a demand. Nodding slowly, he got up off of the chair he had been sitting on, asking the two huddled together if they wanted anything while he was gone, following Shannon when he received a negative response. "I don't think that you should tell her" He heard Shannon speak once they were outside walking through the hospital garden.

"Huh?" Tomo asked dumbfounded.

"Tim's mom…I don't think that you should tell her that it was you that gave him the drugs" Shannon continued.

"I am sure that Greg is telling her everything as we speak and…"

"He's not telling her anything" Shannon cut him off, stopping as he turned to face his friend. "He told us everything while you were gone and he feels just as guilty as you do…but he doesn't want to tell the mother of his best friend that he's the reason Tim's in the hospital because of him picking up your fucking skanky drug dealer"

"Former…" Tomo croaked, taking a step back at the fury radiating back at him.

"If she was former, Tim wouldn't be in this mess now would he?"

"She should know Shannon" Tomo replied, ignoring that scalding remark.

"She knows that her son is in the hospital for a drug reaction…she doesn't need to know anymore then that"

"You want me to lie if she asks?" Tomo questioned, not understanding why Shannon would want him to lie.

"If you want to stay with Tim…yes" He replied in a deadly tone.

"You know something. What did Greg tell you?" He demanded, ignoring the looks of smoldering anger Shannon was shooting his way as he grabbed onto his arms and forced him to face him.

"Seems you and Tim have something else in common…other then your love for each other" He began. "Tim had a substance abuse problem as well when he was younger and he almost died from it. He was a loner who fell into the wrong crowd in high school and because of stupidity and peer pressure he started using. He had a girlfriend who was a total druggie and one night she urged Tim to try heroine and he reacted to it immediately. He was in a coma for days before he came to, his mother moving them to another state in order to get Tim away from those people who claimed to be his friends. It's history repeating itself Tomo and if you want to lose Tim…then tell her...but if you love him as much as I think you do…keep this shit to yourself" Tomo was even more confused and conflicted as he watched Shannon walk back into the hospital, leaving him alone with his thoughts and his emotions.

"Morning…" Tomo smiled sadly at Tim's mother as he entered the hospital room early one morning, several weeks later. "Any change?" The same questioned asked, with the same reply. "Morning baby…" He whispered against Tim's ear, kissing his cheek gently as he once again hoped and prayed for a response. "Love you" He whispered, knowing that Tim's mother could hear, but trying to hide is as much as possible.

"Come talk to me" Tim's mom smiled at her son's lover. "I feel as if I don't know anything about you except the fact that you are in a band and dating my son"

'There isn't much to tell" Tomo blushed, sitting down across from the woman.

"I find that hard to believe" She smiled back, taking Tomo's hand into her own before sharing a smile with him. 'Tim told me that your family immigrated from Croatia…tell me what that was like"

"I was just a kid…but I remember some of it" He told the story of his growing up, ending it up until the time that he and Tim had fallen in love. A smile covering his face as he recalled their first kiss and how awkward and strange it was, but how it turned into something wonderful and special by the time they were done.

"You really love him don't you?" She asked as he watched Tomo sweep his gaze lovingly across the room, resting it upon her slumbering son.

"I wasn't looking for love and I sure as hell wasn't looking for love with a man…but it happened and I fell hard" His face turned red as he drew his eyes back towards her, noticing the look of love and understanding staring back at him. "I want you to know that I really do love him and I can't imagine my life without him" He teared up, his heart missing the man lying so still across from them. "Do you mind if I ask when he told you about us?" He asked, curiosity getting the better of him.

"He called the morning after you two shared your first kiss" She giggled at the way he blushed even deeper. "He was so confused and he needed to tell someone. Tim and I have always been close, so I was glad that he felt comfortable enough to confide in me" She smiled, giving the hand she was still holding a gentle squeeze. "What about your family? What did they say when you told them?"

Tomo hung his head in shame as he tried to come up with a way to tell Tim's mother that he hadn't had the balls to tell his family about them yet. "It's hard enough telling your family that you're in love with a woman…but even harder when it involves a man" She spoke up, squeezing Tomo's hand again as if to show that she understood. "I'm not going to say that I was shocked to learn that my baby…my only son was in love with a man…but after a few tears…I realized that he is my son and that no matter who he loves…as long as he's happy that is all that matters"

"I don't know if they'd be as understanding as you…but once he wakes up I am going to tell them no matter what" Tomo replied with a determined hitch to his voice.

"I can see now why my Timmy loves you so much" A tear escaped from her eye as she leaned forward and hugged the man who had stolen her son's heart, kissing him on the cheek before pulling back with a soft smile. "I can read the love you have for him so plainly in your eyes. I'm so happy that he found you Tomo"

The guilt was eating him up from the inside as he took a deep breath and prepared to tell her everything that had happened, Greg taking that exact moment to walk in. He watched as they greeted each other with a hug and a kiss, before Greg offered to take them both out for breakfast. Tomo declined, wanting to spend some alone time with the man he wished would wake up and come back to him.

"Hey Timmy…" He spoke softly as he stood to the side of Tim's bed, reaching out and taking his hand. "I've been hanging out with your mother since she's been here and I have to say that she's amazing. Her only son is lying in a coma and she's more concerned about me and everyone else then she is of herself. I'm glad that you told her about us and I'm sorry that I didn't have the guts to tell my family or anyone about you and I…but I will. I promise that once you wake up that I will tell each and every person that I know and don't know about how much I love you and how much you mean to me. I don't know if you know this or not Timmy…but you mean everything to me. I've been an ass to you lately with my fear of telling and my drug use…but you have to know that I am thankful every day that you were willing to experiment with me that night and that you allowed your feelings for me to grow" A sob escaped from his lips as he leaned forward and kissed the hand he was holding tenderly. "And I am so sorry that I caused this to happen to you. I know you didn't want to take those drugs that night and…"

"This is all your fault?" He heard someone shriek, not understanding what was going on as he was jerked away from Tim, his ass hitting the floor as he tried to gain his barings. "How could you? How could you do this to the man that you claim to love? Tell me it isn't true. Tell me that I heard you wrong Tomo…tell me" Her words got louder as she continued to glare down at the person she was growing to hate with every second that he didn't answer her.

"Yes…but it's not what you think" Tomo rushed out, pulling himself off of the floor as he tried to reach out to Tim's mother, his hands getting slapped away with such force that it brought tears to his eyes from the pain.

"Get out…" She demanded, pointing at the door as she fought the urge to claw Tomo's eyes out for deceiving her that way that he had.

"Please just listen to me and…"

"I said get the hell out of here…NOW" She roared, ignoring the protests of the nurses and aides now surrounding them. "Get out and don't you ever come near Tim again. Whatever you had with him is over you hear me…OVER" She screamed even louder, falling apart within her son's best friends arms as she watched Tim's former lover race out of the room. "Did you know anything about this?" She asked Greg once she was able to pull herself back together again.

"No…" Greg lied, hating himself for what he had done, but unwilling to lose the friendship that meant the world to him. He knew that he would have some explaining to do once Tim woke up, but for now he felt it was better to keep that part to him self.

"Tomo…" Shannon called out to his friend as he and Jared entered his small apartment, cursing out loud when he found the man he was looking for sprawled out on the couch in the living room, looking nearly dead. "No fucking way Tomo…you better not be fucking high or I will kill you myself" He threatened as he reached down and grabbed his friend by the arm, flipping him over onto his back. "Oh Tomo…" He cried out in horror at the broken man lying before him.

"It's over Shannon. It's really over" Tomo sobbed as he sat up and fell into Shannon's arms. "She knows and she told me to leave. She's banned me from ever seeing him again. My life's over Shannon…it's over"

"I know baby…I know" Shannon tried to sooth his best friend, ignoring the look of hated, hurt he received from Jared. "We went to the hospital and Greg told us everything" He sighed, holding Tomo tighter. "You just picked the worst time to come clean Tomo. Seems that Tim's insurance is about to run out and his mother is trying to come up with a way to pay the hospital bills"

"His insurance…but he's got the same insurance that we do. He's part of this band and…"

"I never made him official with that label. He's been paying for his own insurance though the musicians union" Jared spoke up, wanting to kick his own ass for putting off what he had planned to do after Tim had come on board when Matt left.

"Are you fucking kidding me?" Tomo cried out, lunging for Jared, only to be held back with brute force by Shannon. "Tim's mother isn't able to pay the money needed for his hospital bills. Oh my god Shannon…this is a nightmare" Tomo pushed his friend away, getting up, ignoring Jared as he wracked his brain for any way to fix their plight. "I quit" He blurted out, picking up the phone as he ran into the bathroom, slamming the door loudly behind him. He ignored the screaming and the banging going on behind said door as he called a familiar number, falling apart on the line when his mother answered the phone. After he had opened up his heart and soul to the woman who had given him birth, he called in a few favors with some other friends who owed him, his mind still working on what he had to do to make the money needed.

"You called him baby" Jared pouted as he and Shannon sat in the living room nearly an hour after Tomo had locked himself in the bathroom. They knew that he hadn't tried to do anything stupid by the constant talking they heard coming from the tiny room, but that still didn't cause them any less worry.

"Jared…I don't have time for this" Shannon warned, more worried about Tomo then his brother's unfounded jealousy.

"You're still in love with him" He accused softly, but loud enough for Shannon to hear.

"Go home…" Shannon demanded, grabbing Jared by the shoulder and jerking him towards the door. "What is going on right this very moment is more important then your fucking theatrics" He ground out, finger in Jared's face as if to prove his point. "Tomo and Tim's lives are in fucking turmoil right now. Tim's not out of the woods by any means and Tomo's hanging onto his sanity by a thread. You go home and think about how you are acting and once you figure it out…then you can come back and help me out here"

"Shannon…no…I'm sorry" Jared cried out, pulling out of his lovers grasp before wrapping his arms tightly around his neck. "I'm sorry and I do understand. I just can't help myself sometimes. I just love you so much and I get jealous because of it"

"I love you too…but you have to get over this. You have no reason to be jealous baby" He emphasized the word, pulling his brother closer. "I love you Jared and only you. I'm breaking laws left and right because of this love…but it's worth it because it you. Don't you get that yet? You are the only one for me and you always will be"

"I get it and I'm sorry" Jared replied sadly, sharing a quick kiss with the man that owned his heart. "Tomo…" He called out, pulling away from Shannon when the bathroom door opened. "I don't know what the hell you were doing in there…but whatever it was you can forget it. Tim is part of this band and this family and Shannon and I will take care of any bills that come up. It's my fault that his insurance lapsed in the first place and I'll be the one to fix this mess"

"Thank you Jared…but no" Tomo replied with determination in his voice. "Tim is in this predicament because of me and it's going to be me that takes care of this mess I've created. I've got a couple hundred thousand saved up. I've sold my guitar collection and I've got a few stand in gigs set up where I can make some quick cash. I called my mother and she's going to hire me on as a cook in their restaurant for as long as I need. You can however…pay the bills for me since I know that Tim's mother is too proud and too pissed off at me to take my money. Just pay what is due and I will make sure to cover it as soon as I can. Can you do this for me Jared?" Tomo asked, determined to do things his way no matter what the cost. "I have to do this for the man that I love. So…will you help me?"

"I'll do whatever you need me to do" Jared replied, hating that Tomo was practically selling his soul to take care of Tim's needs, but knowing that as stubborn as Tomo was, there was no sense in fighting him.

Tomo was near exhaustion nearly a month later after working near non-stop in order to keep the money flowing in. He worked all day long in the kitchen of his parent's restaurant, playing gig after gig in the later evenings for anyone that needed a guitarist or violinist to stand in for them . He had pretty much already depleted his bank account, even trying to get a loan from the same back, only to be turned down due to no collateral and what they termed bad credit. He didn't have much time to eat, much less sleep and with each day that past he became more of a shell of himself. His parents had offered him money time after time, but he always refused, not only because he felt that it was the right thing to do, but also because their restaurant was still fairly new and month after month they were barely breaking even. His sister had even tried to help, but again he refused out of stupid pride he knew, but it was that pride and the love that he held for Tim that kept him going day after day. He was exhausted and miserable and he hated his life with a passion, but he looked forward to the phone calls he received nightly from Shannon, keeping him informed on the man that he still loved with his whole heart and soul.

Tim had come out of the coma mere days after his mother had banished Tomo from his life. At first the doctors thought that he had escaped the stoke without any complications, noticing that something was wrong the moment that Tim tried to get out of bed for the first time in months, almost falling to the floor with the first step. The stroke had partially paralyzed the right side of Tim's body, making walking an all out struggle as well as the grasping of anything with his right hand. The doctor's were quick to point out that it might be temporary, but only time and physical therapy would show for sure.

Tomo felt a sense of relief when Tim was released from the hospital, he and his mother moving in with Shannon and Jared while he continued the physical therapy that had started in the hospital. He had been hopeful that the bills would decrease some and he could try and get some semblance of his life back, or as much semblance as he could without his Freckles in it. However, he soon learned that physical therapy and out patient care were just as expensive, if not more and he was forced to continue to work as much as he could.

"Tomo…you look completely exhausted" Shannon remarked one afternoon as they were sitting in Tomo's parent's restaurant, Tomo only agreeing to a short break after Shannon threatened to maim him if he didn't. "You can't keep doing this or you're going to burn yourself out. I'm so worried about you…we all are"

"Has he even asked about me once?" Tomo ignored Shannon's words, already knowing that he looked like shit and was literally skin and bones, but not willing to stop what he was doing for a moment if it meant that Tim got the care that he needed.

"Tomo…" Shannon tried to stall, hating the idea of hurting his already clearly hurting friend even more.

"Has he?" Tomo asked again, already knowing the answer but the look of sadness staring back at him.

"No…at least not to me or Jared" Shannon came clean, reaching out and taking Tomo's boney hand into his own. "But truthfully…his mother pretty much keeps him to herself. I mean…they live in the same house and I very seldom see the two of them and you know that it's not even that big of a house. The only person she really ever allows to see him alone is Greg…which pisses me off to no end because he was there that night and part of the reason that Tim ended up in the hospital"

"I miss him" Tomo whispered softly, his heart breaking as he stared at the hands intertwined on the table before them. "I just miss him so much Shannon" Lying his head on the table, he finally allowed his tears to flow as they streaked down his cheeks silently. He could feel several pairs of eyes staring at him as he continued to cry, but he was too exhausted, mentally as well as physically to care.

"Fuck off…" Shannon growled at the many ogling his best friend, rushing across the restaurant as he knocked a camera out of some heartless person's hand before running back to his friend. "Come on Tomo…that's it…you're done for the day" He spoke with an air of determination to his voice as he wrapped his arm around Tomo's shoulders and hefted him out of the chair he had been sitting in. When Tomo's steps seemed to falter, he swept him up into his arms, hating that fact that it was as if he were carrying a small child instead of a formally hardy man. He ignored the flashing of camera's, the whispers from the patrons and the outcry of concern from his family as they rushed from the kitchen. None of them mattered because at that moment in time Tomo was more important then anything else.

"I'm so tired Shannon" Tomo moaned like a small child, his eyes closed, face pale.

"I know Tomo…just sleep" He replied, tears forming in his eyes at the shell of a man sitting in the seat beside him in his car. He knew Tomo hadn't heard his words at the closed eyes and unstable breathing coming from his chest. "Tomo…" He nudged his friend a bit, fear gnawing at him for some unexplained reason. "Tomo…" He cried out a bit louder, grabbing his shoulders and shaking him a little harder. "Fuck…Tomo…" He was near panicked when he still hadn't received a response. "Don't you fucking die on me Tomo" He yelled even louder, slapping him across the face twice in hopes of rousing him, nothing worked. Without even thinking Shannon threw the car into drive, speeding like a mad man through the busy afternoon traffic, ignoring the car horns and cursing he received on the way. He even ignored the police cruiser chasing after him because nothing else mattered but getting his best friend in the entire world to the hospital. He barely threw his car into park before he was out of his seatbelt and bounding around the other side to get to Tomo once they arrived there.

"Don't move sir…" He heard a police officer scream towards him, but again he ignored the words, his only intent, getting Tomo inside to see a Doctor. "I said don't move sir…" The cop screamed again, another voice adding to the chaos and yet Shannon continued to ignore them.

"It's ok Tomo…you're going to be ok" He soothed the still unmoving man he held within his arms once again. "TOMO…" He screamed in terror, when Tomo's body was ripped from his arms, his face meeting the hard sidewalk as he was slammed onto his stomach. "He's sick. He needs a fucking Doctor. Get him a Doctor" His screams continued, as he tried like hell to push his was out from under the heavy weight pressing into his back. "Get the fuck off of me. He needs help. Tomo…" His word were cut short at a sharp blow to his side, the wind knocked out of his lungs before he felt metal handcuffs wrapped around his writs. Before he knew it, he was jerked up off of the ground, read his rights before he was literally tossed into a squad car. Tears poured down his face as he watched what appeared to be an orderly take Tomo inside the hospital and out of his sight.

"Do you know why you are being arrest sir?" He heard a cop question him, but he ignored him, instead looking out the back of the window as the car was driven away from the hospital. "You punks seems to think that you can just ignore the rules of safety while driving…no matter what" That same officer went on, Shannon once again ignoring his remarks, his mind wondering how his friend was doing. He still didn't speak a word when he was removed from the car once they had arrived at the police station, head hung low while two officers literally dragged him inside.

He had forgotten how dismal and small a jail cell was, spending quite a bit of time in several throughout his younger years. It felt like forever before he was taken from the cell and brought into another room, told that he was allowed to make the necessary phone calls needed to begin the bail process. The first person he called was he and Jared's lawyer, giving the least amount of details possible in order to speed up the process. He asked the lawyer before hanging up to call Jared, because as much as he loved his brother, he wasn't able to put up with the tantrum he knew was to come. Sure enough, he knew that moment that Jared had entered the building, his voice loud and crass as he demanded his brother's release. Shannon couldn't help but smile despite the situation, because it was such a Jared thing to do.

"Shannon…Oh my god…are you ok?" Jared cried out the moment that he entered the room, pulling his brother into his arms, only to jump back at an outcry of pain. "Shannon…what the fuck?" Jared demanded, when Shannon seemed to turn away from him, holding onto his side in a very protective way.

"Shannon…are you ok?" The lawyer asked, walking over towards him, lying a hand on Jared's shoulder in an attempt to calm the near crazy man. "Did they hurt you?"

"How's Tomo?" Shannon ignored their concern, his only one, finding out if Tomo was alright.

"Shannon…" Jared was pleading, watching the way that his brother kept cradling his side, a look of pure pain upon his face.

"I said…how's Tomo?" He asked again, wincing in pain as his ribcage contracted at the raise of his voice.

"I called the hospital on the way up and they said that he was in stable condition. Thankfully he has the two of us as points of contacts in a medical emergency. Now lift up your shirt" Jared insisted as he stepped forward and lifted Shannon's light t-shirt, Gasping in shock at what he saw there. "Holy fuck…"

"You get someone in charge in here right now" The lawyer demanded as he turned to face the officer standing off to the side of the room. "NOW" His words got louder, before turning back to his client. "Shannon…did they do this to you?" He asked, already knowing that answer but needing to hear it for legal purposes just the same.

"Who did it? I'll kill the mother fuckers who did this to you" Jared roared, pacing back in forth in such a rage that he felt he would kill anyone that came anywhere near his brother and not feel guilty about it one bit.

"Jared…you're not helping matters" The lawyer reminded his client and long time friend, his emotions swinging that same way, but better able to handle it when these types of situations arose.

"Jared…come here" Shannon murmured, reaching out with his good arm. "I'm ok…" He whispered against his ear, biting his lip in pain when Jared all but crushed him within his embrace. They watched as the lawyer began to speak to the officer in charge, his voice getting louder and the threats more severe the longer he went on. Neither one questioned him when he told them it was time to leave, the three of them rushing out of the police station and into a police car waiting outside for them. No words were spoken as they were whisked away, sirens blaring as they roared towards the hospital Tomo had been admitted in.

"No…I'm fine" Shannon announced for the third time as they raced into the hospital, trying to locate where Tomo had been assigned to, Jared and the lawyer demanding that he get check out as well. He fought them for as long as he could before he finally just gave in, knowing that he wasn't going to win the battle as long as Jared was around. He demanded that Jared go and check on Tomo while he was being checked out himself, but he gave up that battle rather quickly as well because he knew that wild horses couldn't have dragged his brother away from his side. "I really am ok" He whispered to his brother as he lie on a hospital bed after several sets of x-rays had been taken, waiting for the Doctor to return with the findings. "I'm just a bit sore. They tried to get me to pull over…tried to get me to listen…but I didn't and…"

"Don't you dare finish that sentence" Jared cut him off, tears glistening in his eyes as he once again took in the severe bruising on Shannon's entire right side. "I understand that you broke a few laws…but a man's life could have been in the balance and did they once ever ask you why you did what you did?" He waited for Shannon to reply, getting his answer when he didn't receive one. "Did they ever once check on the condition of the man that they ripped from your arms before you were dragged off to jail? So don't you fucking lie to me and make light of the seriousness of the situation" He pointed at his brother because he knew if Shannon had his way he would just brush it all under the carpet and move on. "There were plenty of witnesses that saw the whole thing. Jeffrey already has two of his assistants down here getting all of their statements. I've even talked to a few of them myself…so I know what happened. This was officer abuse of the worst kind and you can bet your sweet ass that we are going to take this to the highest level. I understand that you broke a few traffic laws…but you had a fucking good reason and they didn't even try to find out what was going on before they arrested you"

"I love you baby" Was Shannon's only reply as he reached his hand out, gripping onto Jared's hand tightly as they stared deeply into each other's eyes, only pulling apart when the Doctor once again entered the room.

"Thankfully there are no broken bones, but the bruising is very severe and I would like to have you admitted to the hospital for a few days for observation" The doctor gave his assessment of the x-rays.

"Thank you Doctor…but no" Shannon announced as he shifted painfully off of the bed, pulling his shirt over his head, totally ignoring the angered looks being shot his way by Jared. "Can you tell me where my friend Tomo is? He's the one that I was bringing in here earlier before…" He let the sentence drop, looking the Doctor right in the eye as he waited for him to speak.

"He's in room 232 B…on the second floor" He didn't even try to argue with the man, turning his attention to the other man in the room with them. "Keep an eye on him and if the pain persist for more then four or five days…bring him back in here. I will leave a couple of prescriptions for pain at the desk" Locking eyes with Shannon once again, he bid them a good day and took his leave.

"I'm fine Jared and I don't want to hear it" He spoke up before Jared had a chance too. "I love you for worrying but it's only bruising and the rest we can take care of once Tomo is out of here ok?" He questioned his lover softly, reaching out once again now that they were alone. "Thank you" He sighed in relief when Jared didn't put up any fight. "Love you" He whispered against Jared's ear, before leaning back and sharing a soft and tender kiss with the man that he loved.

"I love you too" Jared replied truthfully, fighting the urge to fight Shannon tooth and nail, but knowing what battles to pick and which ones to let go after many years of being together as more then just brothers.

"When he was brought in here he was heavily dehydrated…malnourished and exhausted to the point that he body began to just shut down" Jared and Shannon listened as yet another Doctor explained what was going on with Tomo. "In all honesty I don't know how he lasted as long as he did. He's a very lucky man that there doesn't seem to be any permanent damage and extremely lucky that you brought him in when you did"

"If Tomo's anything…he's a determined fucker" Jared replied, in awe and utter relief that his friend was going to be ok. "Sorry…" He blushed, fighting the urge to reach out and take his brother's hand into his own as he sat quietly beside him.

"It's ok…I've heard worse" The doctor smiled. "We're going to keep him for a few days and then release him once we get all the tests back and make sure that there isn't anything permanent we are dealing with here. I would suggest counseling of some sort for your friend to make sure that this doesn't happen again"

"This wasn't intentional" Shannon finally spoke up, feeling the need to defend his best friend. "He was only doing what he thought he had to do for…" He trialed off, deciding it was better off to not finish his sentence. "Thank you doctor…can we see him now?"

"Of course" She smiled again, escorting the two men out of her office. "Just be aware that he is heavily sedated in order to give his body a chance to recover. I'd suggest you only stay a few minutes and then come back to visit with him tomorrow"

Neither said a word, just nodded in response as they walked into Tomo's room, each in utter shock as to how thin and frail their band mate looked lying there in front of them. "He's like half that person he used to be" Jared whispered, tears misting his eyes at just how much Tomo had let himself go for the love of Tim. "We can't let this continue Shannon. We have to do something"

"I know and we will" Shannon assured, giving Jared's arm a gentle squeeze before walking over towards the side of Tomo's bed. "Hey dumb ass…" Shannon grinned down at Tomo as the groggy man opened his eyes halfway and peered up at him

"Hey Shan…" He drawled, finding that his tongue weighed as if it were twenty five pounds as he tried to speak. "What happened?" He forced himself to try again, trying to sit up, but finding that his body seemed to be weighing him down as well.

"That's its Tomo…it's all over after today" Shannon ordered, determined to get Tomo healthy once again before trying to work on the relationship between him and Tim.

"Cant…Tim…" Tomo fought the words, just as determined as Shannon to continue to do what had to be done.

"Tim…Smim" Jared cut in, walking over to stand next to his brother. "Shannon's right…after you get out of here things are going to change. You are not going to work yourself stupid again…no matter how much you think you have to. I am part of this problem and I will take on some of the responsibility. You can try and fight me all you want you stubborn ass…but you are not going to win this time. Do you hear me Tomo?" Jared asked when Tomo seemed to have fallen asleep. "Fucker…he fell asleep" Jared grinned at Shannon lying his head upon his shoulder as they both looked down at their friend.

"Thank you…" Tomo murmured, exhaustion taking him into a realm of peace now that he knew he didn't have to work so hard.

"We love you man" Jared whispered as he leaned forward and kissed Tomo on the forehead. "Come on Shan…let's go home and let him rest. We can come back and visit him tomorrow"

"You ok baby?" Jared asked Shannon as he sat quietly beside him on the way home. Reaching across the seat he took his hand into his own as he had wanted to at the hospital and gave it a gentle squeeze.

"Why do you think that Tim hasn't asked about Tomo at all since he was released from the hospital?" Shannon asked, his mind racing as to what they should tell Tim, if they should tell Tim once they got back home. "I mean to hear Tomo describe it, they were totally in love with each other and yet he hasn't said one word about Tomo or their relationship since all this shit happened. It's odd…right?"

"I've wondered it myself" Jared added, dying for some alone time with his lover because Shannon was the only one who could make all the craziness that had been going on disappear if only for a little while. "But the truth is that we really don't know what's been going on in Tim's mind since the only two people that really speak to him are his mother and Greg. Who knows what they have been telling him"

"I've been thinking that too" Shannon smiled over at his brother, amazed at just how alike their thoughts were most times. "I've been trying to decide if I should go talk to him about it or not. What do you think?"

"I think that we need some alone time to decompress. I mean shit Shannon…after everything that happened today…can we just be together tonight alone. I was so scared for you today and I just want us to be alone tonight…please" He begged, turning his head in shame once he had pulled into the driveway of their home, shutting the car off.

"Of course baby…whatever you want" Shannon smiled, giving the hand he still held within his own a gentle squeeze. "I'd kiss the shit out of you right now…but I wouldn't want to freak Tim's mom out too much if she were to see us" He chuckled, trying to lighten the mood, even though he felt as if a dark shadow seemed to be lurking over their lives that would never go away.

"Well it's a good thing that Tim's at therapy right now…so do as you will" Jared smiled sheepishly as he gazed into deep hazel eyes. Closing his own eyes he savored the kiss as Shannon leaned forward and kissed him gently.

"Come on…let's go upstairs" Shannon urged, nudging his neck with his nose before placing a simple kiss upon it.

A rumbling belly woke Shannon up hours later as he gently kissed the man sleeping beside him, slipping out of bed as he made his way for the kitchen. Lost in thought he didn't hear another enter the kitchen a few moments later, nearly knocking the person to the ground at a hand upon his shoulder. "What the fuck Shan?" Tim cried out as he jumped back, knocking over the milk bottle sitting on the counter behind him.

"Shit…sorry Tim…guess you startled me" He apologized, rushing to clean up the spilt milk cascading onto the floor.

"Guess so…" Tim replied, helping as well, sitting down on a stool once everything was back in order. "What's on your mind that had you so far away?" He asked, Shannon staring at him as if he was the stupidest person on the planet. "What?"

"Can I ask you something?" Shannon asked.

"I'd prefer that you not" Tim replied with a nervous glance as his friend before finding fascination with the smoothness of the table top.

"It's been months Tim. Don't you even care what he's been up to?"

"Fuck no…why should I? He sure as hell didn't care about me as I was lying there in that coma or now that I am working on trying to get all the feeling back in my hand and leg" Tim bit out, glaring at Shannon at his nerve to bring up such a touchy subject.

"Are you fucking kidding me" Shannon ground out, just as irritated as he leaned forward, locking eyes with Tim before speaking again. "He didn't care about you?" He repeated, rage taking over his senses as he tried to control it before it got out of control. "He was there every single moment that the hospital allowed. Hell…I bet he would have spent that night there with you as well if they had allowed it. He was at your side all day every day until your mother banned him from seeing you"

"LIAR…" Tim bit out, getting up from his chair, tripping into the counter due to his lameness. "My mother told me that he told her that he couldn't deal with me if I had woken from my coma deformed or with any permanent problems"

"What…and you fucking believed her?" Shannon asked, dumbfounded for a moment at Tim's stupidity and his mother's audacity.

"She's my mother…why the fuck wouldn't I believe her?" Tim snapped, not wanting to hear anymore, but finding a highly pissed off drummer blocking his only means of escape.

"Because she loves her little boy so much that she thought that lying to you about Tomo would be better then the truth" Shannon went on, refusing to budge an inch until Tim knew the whole truth.

"Let me pass Shannon" Tim tried to sound threatening, but it only came out sounding sad and weak, his heart breaking at just how much he missed Tomo. The truth was that he suspected that he mother was lying, but it was easier to play along other then face the truth and that was something he just wasn't ready to do at all.

"Do you even care that Tomo is in the hospital at this very moment, his body so exhausted and dehydrated that it started shutting down on him? Do you care that the reason he is there in the first place is because of you? Do you care that he's run himself ragged in order to make enough money to pay your hospital bills and for your physical therapy? Do you…"

"Enough…" Tim cried out, tears pouring down his face at Shannon's onslaught. "You're lying" But he knew that Shannon was telling nothing but the truth at the look of pure anger in his eyes.

"I'm lying…you fucking prick" Shannon roared, pulling up his shirt and showing Tim his side. "This is a nice present from a fucking cop today as he tried to arrest me after I had to rush Tomo to the hospital after he collapsed. No Tim…trust me I wish that I was lying…but everything that I've told you is the gods honest truth"

"You told my mother that you and Jared were taking care of the bills" Tim sobbed, allowing Shannon to lead him back to his chair before he fell to the floor.

"He didn't want you to know. He felt guilty and responsible and wanted to be the one to take care of you Tim…because he loves you that much" Shannon spoke softer, lying his hand upon Tim's shoulder when the man laid his head upon the table and began to sob uncontrollably. "I didn't want you to find out this way Tim…but he's practically dying without you and I think that you miss him just as much as he does too"

"I do…I miss him so much Shannon" Tim wailed, crying so hard that he could barely keep his breath. "I was so angry that this happened to me again that I didn't want to admit that it was my fault. It was easier to be mad at Tomo and blame him. "Jesus Shannon…what have I done? He's in the hospital and it's all because of me"

"It's been a fucked up situation all around…that's for damned sure" Shannon chuckled sadly, squeezing the shoulder his hand was still upon. "I think that tomorrow you should go and see him and maybe try and work things out. "You physical therapy is almost over and any bills that occur from now on Jared and I are truly going to take care of. It's time to see if you and Tomo can work past this bullshit and try and rebuild your lives once again"

"He hates me. He has to hate me" Tim sniffled, head hung in shame. "And who could blame him"

"If he hated you Tim…he wouldn't have done all that he did for you. Trust me…that man loves you and nothing is going to change that" He assured, slapping Tim on the back as he got up and cleaned up the rest of his snack. "I'll take you there tomorrow first thing. Go get some rest…you're going to need it" He winked, pulling Tim into a hug before the two of them walked back upstairs. "You need to talk to your mother as well" Shannon spoke as they stood in the upstairs hallway.

"I will…thanks Shan" Tim smiled at his newest friend, hugging him quickly before escaping into the guest room.

"Everything ok?" Jared asked once Shannon had entered the room, closing the door softly behind him.

"It will be…thank fucking god it will be" He smiled as he joined his brother in bed once again, holding him tightly as the two of them drifted off to sleep.

Tim's mind was a frazzled mess as he recalled the horrible fight he had had with his mother earlier that night after his talk with Shannon. His mother admitting that she lied, but only to protect her from a man she didn't deem fit enough to be with her son. It had been a heated battle that followed after that, Tim's mother packing up and storming out of the Leto's home, vowing to never speak to her son again. Afterwards Tim had called Greg and told me that he no longer wanted to speak to him, unsure if he wanted to fight for their friendship after the lies and betrayal. Greg had tried to make excuses for his behavior, but Tim refused to listen, his mind strictly on Tomo and what he was going to have to do to win his love once again.

"I'm sorry about what happened to you Shannon" Tim spoke up from the back seat, shame once again filling him once he realized he had never thanked Shannon for saving Tomo and that he was sorry for his injuries. "Are you feeling ok this morning?"

"I'm fine…" Shannon lied, trying to shift around in his seat to ease the pain the seatbelt was causing him.

"He's not fine" Jared piped up, shooting his brother a dirty look at the outright lie he had told. "You can't tell me that you're not hurting Shan. I can see it on your face. Stupid mother fuckers…don't think that they are getting away with this" He went on a tangent, his anger from the day before resurfacing. "We are going to sue the pants off of those sons of bitches"

"Jared…not right now" Shannon spoke up, shooting him his own dirty look before focusing back on the road ahead of them. "Well figure out what to do later…right now we have more important things to worry about. Ok baby?" He turned to his brother once again as they came up to a red light. "I'm ok Jared" He assured, knowing why his brother was so adamant about what had happened, causing him to love him even more. "Love you" He whispered softly in order for Tim not to hear because despite that fact that he knew Tim knew about their relationship, it still felt odd. He knew his message had been received at the smile Jared shared with him, before he once again turned his attention to the road ahead of him.

"I don't know if I can go in there" Tim said nervously, his voice quacking as the three of them stood outside of Tomo's room.

"You can and you will you little fucker…now go" Jared demanded, opening the door and forcing Tim inside before he had a chance to utter another word. "Hey Tomo…" He greeted the man lying silently before him, seemingly dead to the world. "Guess who came to visit" He grabbed onto Tim's arm and dragged him further into the room, nearly knocking him to the ground with a final push to the side of the hospital bed. "Sorry…" He blushed a bit at the dirty looks he received from both of the men in the room. "Coffee?" He directed his attention to his brother.

'Yeah…coffee" Shannon agreed, smiling softly at Tim, before the two of them exited the room and left him alone with Tomo for the first time in months.

Tears pricked his eyes as he ran them across the thin body lying under the hospital linen. He couldn't believe how pale and hollow Tomo's face looked as he reached out anxiously and traced the very tips of his fingers across his face. "I'm so sorry Tomo" He bit back a sob when he got no response, cursing himself for allowing things to get so far out of control that it put the man that he loved in the hospital. "I have no earthly idea what to say to you except that I love you so much" He sniffled, taking Tomo's hand tenderly into his own as he sat on a chair next to the bed. "I've been wondering what I would say to you if I were to ever see you again and now I have nothing" Opting for silence, he continued to hold Tomo's hand, ignoring the brother's when they entered the room some time later.

It was as if a ray of happiness fell over him as the voice of the man he loved echoed beautifully within his ears. He knew it was a dream, knew that it was anything but reality, but it brought a smile to his face and made his formerly dead heart come to life once again. He had forgotten how much he loved the sound of Tim's voice, how with just a word or particular hitch of breath it caused his heart to soar. He hadn't realized how much he missed it until that very moment as beautiful words from a beautiful man seemed as if to float all around him. He felt warmth that he thought he would never feel again begin within his hands, working its way throughout his entire body and it made him feel light and carefree as he slowly opened his eyes. "Freckles…" He spoke slowly and lazily, a smile breaking across his face as he took in the beautiful face of the person who was his everything.

"Freckles…" Jared and Shannon giggled; despite the fact that they were overjoyed that Tim's presence seemed to rouse their friend from his slumber.

"It's me Tomo" Tim replied though his tears of relief as his smiled matched those of Jared and Shannon's. "I'm here…I'm here"

"Love you Freckles" Tomo murmured with another smile before he felt everything float away once again.

"I love you too baby" Tim replied, holding Tomo's hand to his lips as he kissed it over and over again.

The rest of the morning was spent in silence; the brother's growing antsy several hours later as they once again left Tim alone. Tim had never felt as drained in his life as he continued to hold the hand he refused to let go of until Tomo opened his eyes and looked at him once again. "You have to wake up baby" He began to speak, breaking the deafening silence around them. "You have to come back to me so I can tell you how sorry I am for allowing everything to get so far out of control. I love you so much and I am so sorry for allowing my own anger and stupidity overtake me. You have to come back so I can nurse you back to health and we can start our life back up again…because I've missed you so much these last few months. Please Tomo…you have to wake up so I can prove to you how much I love you" The silence surrounded him once again as he sat back in the chair as tears bled from his eyes in frustration.

"It wasn't a dream" He heard a groggy and small voice speak. "You're here"

"I'm here baby. Oh my god Tomo…I'm here" Tim cried out loudly, jumping off of the chair as he stood before the hospital bed, still holding the hand he had refused to let go of.

"Sorry…" Tomo croaked, tears within his own eyes as he tried to say the words that he needed to say.

"You have nothing to be sorry for" Tim didn't give him the chance to finish as he leaned in and gave Tomo a simple and sweet kiss. "I know we need to talk about everything that happened…but it just has to wait for now because I want you to know just how much I love you and how much you mean to me"

"Love you too…so much Freckles" He smiled, fighting sleep once again out of fear that when he woke up that it would have really all been a dream.

"Sleep…I promise to be here when you wake up again" It was a promise that he was determined to keep without fail.

Tim hadn't even realized he had fallen asleep until he felt a hand upon his shoulder, nudging him gently awake. He expected to find Shannon and Jared back from wherever they had disappeared to, instead he found two people he didn't know personally, but knew who they were just the same gazing down at him. "You must be Tim" The woman of the two spoke softly, a sweet smile upon her face as he leaned forward and kissed Tim on the cheek. "I've heard so much about you"

Tim didn't know what it was about those words that brought tears to his eyes and a sob to his throat, but before he had a chance to think about it, he felt the loving arms of Tomo's mother wrapped tightly around him. "He told you" Tim whispered against her ear, closing his eyes as her arms tightened around him in a comforting way.

"He told us" She smiled, kissing the young mans cheek once again before straightening up and moving next to her husband.

"I'm sorry…where are my manners" Tim blushed, embarrassed for not only his lack of manners but his outburst. "Please sit" He assisted Tomo's mother to the seat he held, rushing over towards the other side of the room to retrieve the other one for his father.

"See I told you he was amazing" Tomo grinned; finally waking up as tears misted his own eyes that his family had finally gotten to meet the man that he loved.

"That he is son" She smiled over at Tim before focusing her attention to her son coddling him like he was a child and not a full grown man.

"This could take some time" Tomo's father chuckled, patting Tim on the back as he led him from the room. They didn't say anything for a long time as they strolled slowly down the antiseptic smelling corridors of the hospital. "You know that my son is now broke" He began, Tim's heart sinking into his stomach because he had a feeling he knew what was coming next. "He's completely broke and it's all because of his stubbornness to allow others to help him and now because of it he is here as well. Do you love my son Tim?" He asked the silent man. "Can you love him now that he's not financially stable?"

"I do…with my whole heart" Tim spoke quickly with even thinking about his answer. "None of that matter to me"

"Will you continue to love him now that he has nothing? No money…no apartment…nothing" He repeated, his concern for his son outweighing the feelings of his lover.

"I love you son sir…plain and simple" Tim smiled as the love that he felt for Tomo warmed his heart. "I don't care if we have to live in a cardboard box on the streets of L.A. as long as we are together. I know that the real reason he is here is because of me…but I promise that I will make sure that he never regrets loving me. I'm going to make sure that he's always happy and never has to…"

"Ok son…I believe you" Tomo's father smiled, hugging his son's boyfriend quickly. "I can look on your face as see how much you love my son. You know I never in my life thought that I would welcome my son's boyfriend into the family…but welcome you are Tim" Tim was speechless as he smiled down on the elderly man, before hugging him again. "Come on….lets go get my wife before she smothers my son to death" With a final smile shared, the two men walked quietly back to the room, laughing amongst themselves at the mothering going on before them as they entered the room.

"Everything ok?" Tomo asked uneasily when he spotted the two men standing in the doorway.

"Everything is fine" The elder of the two men spoke up, walking over to his son's bed, kissing him on the cheek before taking his wife's hand. "Your mother and I are going to leave you alone for now. We will come back and check on you later. I love you son"

"Love you both too" Tomo smiled after the two, giggling at the way his mother seemed to be protesting but giving up the fight at whatever his father whispered in her ear. "Is everything really ok?" He asked Tim as he walked back into the room, taking his hand as he sat back down on the chair beside the bed.

"Everything is fine" Tim assured, with a half smile because despite the fact that he had said the words, their relationship felt anything but fine.

"And us…are we fine?" Tomo asked the question that he had been thinking.

"I want to be…but I don't know" Tim stammered. "Are we?"

"Come here Freckles" Tomo patted the side of the bed, shifting over in order to make more room for the taller man.

Tim resisted for about a second before the urge to feel Tomo next to him over took all other needs. "Fuck…" He cried out when he tried to climb onto the bed, his leg giving out on him before he had the chance to pull himself completely up. "Do you really want me like this?" He asked sadly, his back to Tomo as he half stood, half leaned against the bed. "The right side of my body works when it wants to and the doctors have no idea if it's permanent or not"

"Tomo no…" He cried out as he felt an arm wrap around his waist, tugging him back until he was sitting on the bed. "You shouldn't have done that…you could have hurt yourself" He scolded, turning to face him. He was about to continue with his rant, but he found another use for his lips as he was pushed onto his back, those same bickering lips covered by ones he felt he would never feel again.

"I'm completely broke" Tomo said once they had to break apart in order to continue to breath.

"The entire right side of my body works when it wants to work" Tim grinned, matching Tomo with what he felt was an excuse.

"I have no apartment and no money to rent one"

"Good thing L.A.'s warm year round. We can find a nice cardboard box and live on the beach"

"I don't have a job…I quit the band"

"We'll be on unemployment together since I can't seem to hold my bass for more then a few minutes or so before my hands start to shake"

"Tim…I'm trying to be serious here" Tomo spoke seriously.

"So am I" Tim interjected with a smile. "Don't you see baby…I don't care what happens to us from now on as long as we are together" He meant ever word as he leaned forward and kissed his lover as if to prove his point.

"Well it's a good thing that you have the Leto's as your boss and your friends" Jared piped up all excited as he and Shannon stood newly noticed in front of the bed. "Tomo…you never quit this band. You only took a leave of absence" He said matter of factly, smiling so widely that it was almost blinding. "As for living on the beach…no employees of mine are going to be living like vagabonds. You both will stay with Shannon and I until you can get back on your feet. Tim…we're not giving up on you that easily and we won't allow you to give up on yourself that easily either. You will continue with your physical therapy session and you will play with this band once again. I'm already put the paperwork into the record company and made the proper announcements. Congratulations…you are now an official member of Thirty Seconds to Mars. There is also a nice and hefty sign on bonus already waiting for you once we get dumb ass out of the hospital here"

"Jared…I…" Tomo tried to speak, but found he didn't have the words.

"Shut it Tomoslav" He cut in, not allowing either of them to speak once again. "This is the way that things are because I am the boss and I say so"

"You know I didn't get a sign on bonus when I started this band" Tomo feigned upset as he looked from Tim to Jared, bursting out laughing at the look of disgust he received from the singer.

"You know keep that shit up and you will be living in the cardboard box" Jared threatened, pointing at Tomo with a smile upon his face as with a wink at Shannon the two of them climbed onto the bed, hugging and tickling their two band mates until they were all squirming and squealing like over stimulated children.

"Alone at last" Tim sighed, snuggling even closer to Tomo after the brother's had left. The room sat silent as the two each got lost in thought, Tim breaking that silence once again. "I'm so sorry for everything" He whispered, tears misting his eyes once again as everything that had happened between them in the previous year began to run though his mind. "All of this happened because of me and now both of our lives are in complete upheaval. I mean look what my stupidity did to you"

"What are you talking about?' Tomo asked in surprise, forcing Tim to look at him. "If anyone is to blame it's me. I'm the one that forced you to take that pill that night in the club. If it hadn't been for me none of this would have happened"

"You didn't force me" Tim's voice was small as he shifted upwards, putting some space between he and Tomo. "I took that pill because I was so fucking jealous of that woman. She was flirting all over you…with her cleavage hanging out and…I just lost it. I guess I was so afraid that I would lose you…either to her or the drugs that I just…went along with it" His voice was strained as he stammered through the truth, knowing that Tomo needed to hear it despite how painful it was to say it. "Afterwards it was just easier to blame you then blame myself"

"Tim stop…please" Tomo begged, tears blazing down his face at the pain in his boyfriend's voice.

"I wanted those drugs so damn badly that nothing mattered…not even you" His throat hitched at the pain lodged deep within it. "You were right to be concerned about the drugs…but you have to believe me that I would never leave you for anyone else. I love you Tim…so fucking much and it kills me to know that because of my failure and my addictions…you could have died. As it is the guilt is almost more then I can bear, knowing that because of it you could be permanently scarred. I'm so sorry Tim…so very fucking sorry" Rolling onto his side, he expected to feel the man that he loved slipping away, instead, he felt a warmth surround him as he was nudged onto his back.

"We're both to blame…the question is are we able to move through this? I love you so much baby and am willing to do anything it takes if it means we are together"

"Fuck…me too" Tomo sobbed, wrapping his arms around Tim's neck, crushing him in an embrace that if not for exhaustion weighing heavily upon, he would have held onto forever. "Don't leave me every again…please" He whispered, fighting sleep but losing the battle quickly.

"Never again…now sleep" Tim smiled, sleepily himself as he snuggled deeper into Tomo's loose embrace, slumber taking him as well, safe in the knowledge that there were going to be tough times between the two of them ahead, but that together and with the help of their friends, that they could weather each and every one of them head on.

The End…


End file.
